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purpleBunny9255
3,396 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts104 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceJune 10, 2018
Recent forum posts
Why aren’t I enough
Depression Support / by purpleBunny9255
Last post
 June 27th, 2021
...See more I feel like I’ve been doing everything I possibly can. My work, I’ve been training the new people, I learned to drive all the special equipment, I’ve been covering every vacation and sick day my boss has taken in the past 2 years, but when it comes time to replace my boss I get passed over and my annual raise was half of what it could have been and I’m told I could have done more. My relationship; it’s been 5 years I’ve been there to support him and even bail him out of every money problem from all his expenses going back to school and wanting to start his own business and failing in his business and car repairs, I buy our groceries, I put thought into birthday gifts and holidays for him and his family. I cook our meals and do our laundry. In return i feel like he tries to spend as little time around me as possible we do separate holidays, we go on separate vacations, I tell him I’m having a bad day and all I get is a “that’s nice the weather is great today”. He hasn’t done or gotten me anything for birthday or Christmas or anniversary for 2 years. Then he comes home and starts drinking right away. My family; my dad excepts me to give everything to my little sister (I bought a new refrigerator and couches both got offered up to my sister before I even got them home “she needs them more”) My friends; only seem to call me up when they want something. I just started my own dog training business and a person I haven’t talked to in years called me up want me to train her dog and help her move for a “friends” discount of lunch and drinks to catch up. But what make it worse is I’m made out to be the bad guy when I tell someone no or that I want something different. I’m doing everything I can to be there and do everything and I miss something and I’m ungrateful to these people.
Am I crazy?
Relationship Stress / by purpleBunny9255
Last post
 February 28th, 2021
...See more I don’t want to leave my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 7 years but I want to move forward and get married and have kids. He used to talk about doing those things but now he doesn’t want any commitments or obligations. He says he doesn’t want kids for another 7 years. I don’t think I can wait that long to have kids I’m ready now and I’m committed to this relationship that getting married seems more like a formality but it is something important to me. I don’t know what to do? I could wait it out and hope he changes his mind or I could leave him and still have to wait years for the things I want because I’d have to find and get to know a new person. To end my commitment because I want a commitment. Either road seems to lead to disappointment.
What do I do
Relationship Stress / by purpleBunny9255
Last post
 January 7th, 2021
...See more I feel like my whole life is on hold. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years total, since high school. We talked about moving and he wants to but is having a hard time getting a job where we want to move but I'm waiting to move before I start my own business which I really want to get started. I want to get married and start a family or at least start a family but he doesn't want to until he's cleared up all his debts (at least $15,000 between car and school) and gets a new job. Now he's starting to talk about how he's comfortable in the jobs he's in he doesn't seem in a rush to move or find a new job. I'm glad he's comfortable but at this rate I'm starting to worry that I'm stuck. I don't feel like leaving him is the right move but everything seems to be just waiting on him. If I was by myself I could move and start my business but I'd miss out on starting a family.
I want a family
Relationship Stress / by purpleBunny9255
Last post
 December 27th, 2020
...See more I'm 24 years old and feel like my life is as together as it can be. My SO and I have been together for 4 years known each other for 7. I want to start a family, I don't have a dream job other than to be a mom. I've told my SO what I want and how I feel but he doesn't want kids for a long time. Every holiday we go to I have to listen to jokes of how we aren't having kids until I'm 60 or how I'm eating for 2 (me and a tape worm; this made me cry). His side of the family already has 3 babies (all unplanned all parents 19 or younger) so I also have to hear about me just having baby fever and leave with hurting ovaries. It's hard for me watching these people with what I want by accident while everyone makes jokes about me. I don't have baby fever I want a family and at this point I feel like I'm praying for an my own accident. I just don't know how to cope with the holidays anymore if this is what I have to deal with and my SO doesn't seem to understand I don't find the jokes funny. I am genuinely worried I'm not going to have kids and I have a hard time being happy for the friends and family that are starting families. Thoughts?
Am I wrong?
Relationship Stress / by purpleBunny9255
Last post
 November 29th, 2020
...See more My boyfriend and I got invited to his family thanksgiving which is normal but with covid some things are different. Well we were told today that his brother, sister, dad, and 6 week old nephew won't be there and my boyfriend is angry that he won't get to see his nephew. My boyfriend is worried about all this time he's missing that he's not getting to see his nephew grow up. I keep telling him it's better safe than sorry it's a 6 week old baby that he's not missing much and we were told back in September that they weren't sure they wanted to take the baby to thanksgiving but my boyfriend seems to be taking it personally that they're keeping his nephew from him. Now I've been annoyed with how my boyfriend has been about the nephew since we found out about him. My boyfriend has been obsessed with the idea of the baby, he wanted to be there when they brought him home even though they wanted a couple days to themselves, he wants to take him on vacations, teach him to fish, he's gone as far as he wants to teach him to drive and have his first beer with him (live in Midwest USA). All the things I feel like a dad would do but I've been wanting to start a family for a year but he doesn't want kids of his own right now "his nephew is good enough for him". But back to thanksgiving I just don't know what to tell him at this point because this was supposed to be his first holiday with his nephew and now they are keeping him away. To me if seems like a small thing to be angry at
Paranoid out of my mind
Anxiety Support / by purpleBunny9255
Last post
 November 21st, 2020
...See more So I'm not sure why but recently (past week or 2) I've been really paranoid for what seems like no reason at all. My boyfriend leaves for work (4:45am) before I do (5:30am) and he always texts me when he gets to work he was running late 1 day probably by like 5 minutes and I was panicking that maybe something had happened to him, fighting the urge to call him the whole way to work until he texted me. I take the dog for a walk at night (which I've done everyday for 2 years around 7:30pm without problems) and I'm speed walking to the point that she doesn't get to stop and do her thing and just goes potty in the house. I live in a good neighborhood, well lit, low crime, people are friendly, but I wake up some mornings and wonder if my car is still going to be in the driveway (which I also never worried about before). I'm not sure what's changed but I feel like I'm freaking out all the time unless I've got myself locked into my house.
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