Unhappy

So its mothers day in UK today my son 9 lives with my mother n her awful partner and my daughter 18 month is with me and the OH is just pointless literally I do everything my self and do a damn good job and I know it I've made sure I've gone above n beyond for my daughter because I couldn't handle losing another child. When I had my son I was only a teenager and was undiagnosed and my head just wasn't there. All I wanted was a nice mother's day about family I seen my son in the morning went to the park and came back to the OH sat upstairs on PS4 all day and tbh its just pointless him been here all he does is bring me down put me down ect never had anything positive to contribute or say I feel like a single mother and trying to keep this family together is literally draining the life out of me I've never felt so depressed and helpless id never act on any thought I have because I love and live for my kids I just wish things was different and wish I had the strength to change things myself and just be stronger 🥺