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Stop seeing things through rose colored glasses

Skyy0 April 1st, 2021

Hi, I'm new to this forum laugh not sure if this is spoken alot around here, but I am so in the honeymoon phase of our dating. Been talking to someone on tinder for 4 days. Super frequently. Met once. I just feel that when people are in a relationship we get that dopamine rush and don't see red flags. I'm so scared of not catching them. Yet again. Because I was ghosted by the last guy after things seemingly went so so well.

I want him to stay. I kind of care about astrology, and both of us are Cancer signs. Its adorable how we can just keep saying, I feel that, the same thing happened to me, I also don't know how to say no , etc, and we talked so easily about family dynamics and lost friendships. So yeah...I'm just so scared of relying too much on him and me simply not catching that he doesn't like me...? What ways do you just ignore the dopamine rush, in a way, so that you can see that he is in fact avoiding your questions. Like..I asked...I'm not swiping on others anymore, are you? And he won't answer clearly.

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Skyy0 OP April 1st, 2021

Its insane how twin-like we are. His name is jack but he puts his name as zeke. I think he told me it's cuz he wants a new identity after every time he ends/or was ended by someone, in a relationship. And guess what? I had a fake name on tinder. I exposed myself first, my name...and then he said oh me too. The cafe worker knew his name. His real name. Should I be worried that he slept with everyone in his neighborhood...? How do I ask, how do you know the Cafe worker?

2 replies
warmheartedHuman2827 April 1st, 2021

Maybe he just goes to that cafe a lot and they know him now by his first name :)

1 reply
Skyy0 OP April 1st, 2021

@warmheartedHuman2827

Yep. Fair point. I feel like I can ask him questions I am actually curious about. He has low expectations for me, in my opinion. He just wants to know more girls....he added more pictures to his tinder profile instead of just sending the pictures to me personally. I ended up deleting the app and will see if he asks why. It just hurts me to see more guys when I like him so so much.

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Skyy0 OP April 1st, 2021

I just get so happy when I recall our convo; he said how he's protective of his older sister and feels like its wrong for their dad to force her to marry. He shows so much empathy for people. So yesterday...I y'know, acted weak to see how he would protect me. I didn't tell anyone else really that I cry in front of my sister. But I just simply said, I cried... and looked at him for some comforting words. He was simply there to listen and wasn't very very comforting, but it was nice to see him protect his own heart and not just jump all in to care for me.