Relationship helppp
Is this the place to ask? I dont know. But im going to tell you a little lot anyway...
I have issues with my relationship. I dont know if i want to be in it. I should be grateful for a home and children but i am unhappy. We do not date, or go anywhere, we have no interests together. i feel unloved. I see him 'like' other womens photos so social media is a problem. I try to talk to him but he thinks im 'nagging'. I want him to leave but i love him. Ideally id like the relationship to be better and happier.
But is the problem my mental health? Or is he the problem. I guess i can only answer that one myself but could use some guidence.
Abit of back story you ask? Maybe you didnt but im going to write it anyway huh.
AGED 18- I lose my first child and bury her 21weeks in. I want nothing more now than a child. Id lost so much.
AGED 19- I birth my first beautiful boy.... hes amazing but his dad is mentally abusive.
AGED 20- I find the courage to leave abusive relationship and find new partner.
AGED 23- I have a 2nd child, another beautiful boy and a year later go onto have another boy with my 2nd relationship
AGED 25- Said partner leaves me homeless with 3 children.
Roll on 6years later,
AGED 31 have a new partner (relationship 3) of 5 years and my fourth boy... he has autism.
but the relationship is soooo hard, we dont go anywhere together. We have no family support, we have nothing in common. The only good thing going for us right now is a rented roof over our heads. There is no happiness. I dont know where to go from here.
My partner and I are unhappy, and the children are feeling it too.
I have no financial support from him other than bits and bobs here and there. I feel no love from him although he says it.
I feel like a maid, a house keeper. What do i do, when do you know to give up on it?
Wow you have been through so much. I’m so sorry for everything that you have been through and I think that the strength that you have had to overcome your obstacles is amazing. Do you think that you and your current relationship have a strong foundation? What I mean is: do you have trust, financial security (rent, food, etc.)? Is the main problem that you want to do more fun and exciting things? I think that as long as he is good to you and provides for you and your children then you two can make it work. Maybe you two can start with dinner at a restaurant once a week? Every Thursday night could be date night where it’s just you two, without the kids, and you could dress nice and have a fun night out. Then eventually you guys could do more together like planning family trips, visiting new places, traveling together, etc. If you don’t have the money to do anything right now then try doing something free like making a picnic and going to the park or driving to the beach or going on walks together. I think spending more alone time together and being more active will help. Good luck!
Thankyou. I trust him, there has been no issues to effect trust. But my own insecurities are effected by social media etc.
I constantly ask for a date night, i dont think hes interested.
We barely talk and when we do we end up arguing. He doesnt financially support us, i doubt he ever will be able to. He used to love spending time with the children and I. Now i think he thinks its a chore. I dont know what to do.
I wish for us all to be happy.
Wow it seems like he may be feeling the same way as you? You both may want more excitement out of the relationship. Maybe if he won’t go and do a date night then you can plan something for him. Get someone to babysit the kids and then cook him a special dinner with candles and drinks? It’s something small but it can be special and make him feel loved. Maybe he will then do it in return and you both can continue to do nice things for each other. That could be the start?