Marriage & Money

I need some ideas and advice. My husband and I got married last year so this year we filed our taxes jointly. We got a pretty good refund, but apparently he thinks he deserves all of it (he makes more than I do). I'm self employed and usually owe taxes. However, because of Covid, I was unable to work because we were shutdown and didn't make much like I usually do. Anyway, he strongly believes the tax refund belongs to him because it came out of his paycheck. I get that I'm not entitled to it, but I'm upset and extremely disappointed on how he handled it. He made me feel like a burden. Also, when we got married and went through all of the money gifts, he took a chunk because "he wanted to make his money back." I have never asked him for help on my bills, I pay my share of mortgage and utilities and I NEVER ask him for money. I buy everything on my own. And when my dog was diagnosed with cancer, I raised money and paid out of my own pocket- he only helped once. And, when he did, he asked for my stimulus check to pay him back. I had no idea his help came with strings attached. Also, he wants so many things (non-essential items) but when I tell him it's not in my budget or that it's not in my planned expenses, he gets irritated. But, I have to manage my money because I'm self employed! And when I do buy things, I do it because I know he liked it and it's usually a surprise. I'm feeling like he wants to benefit from being married but still treats his money like he's single if that makes sense. I don't know. In my previous relationship, we helped each other, no questions asked and with no strings attached. I know it's bad to compare, but it's hard not to when you feel like you're getting the short end of the stick and feel like a burden.