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Eyeeye
141 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceJuly 27, 2015
Recent forum posts
Marriage & Money
Relationship Stress / by Eyeeye
Last post
 May 9th, 2021
...See more I need some ideas and advice. My husband and I got married last year so this year we filed our taxes jointly. We got a pretty good refund, but apparently he thinks he deserves all of it (he makes more than I do). I'm self employed and usually owe taxes. However, because of Covid, I was unable to work because we were shutdown and didn't make much like I usually do. Anyway, he strongly believes the tax refund belongs to him because it came out of his paycheck. I get that I'm not entitled to it, but I'm upset and extremely disappointed on how he handled it. He made me feel like a burden. Also, when we got married and went through all of the money gifts, he took a chunk because "he wanted to make his money back." I have never asked him for help on my bills, I pay my share of mortgage and utilities and I NEVER ask him for money. I buy everything on my own. And when my dog was diagnosed with cancer, I raised money and paid out of my own pocket- he only helped once. And, when he did, he asked for my stimulus check to pay him back. I had no idea his help came with strings attached. Also, he wants so many things (non-essential items) but when I tell him it's not in my budget or that it's not in my planned expenses, he gets irritated. But, I have to manage my money because I'm self employed! And when I do buy things, I do it because I know he liked it and it's usually a surprise. I'm feeling like he wants to benefit from being married but still treats his money like he's single if that makes sense. I don't know. In my previous relationship, we helped each other, no questions asked and with no strings attached. I know it's bad to compare, but it's hard not to when you feel like you're getting the short end of the stick and feel like a burden.
He had a bad day...so now I'm having a bad day.
Relationship Stress / by Eyeeye
Last post
 January 28th, 2021
...See more I asked my husband how his day was at work, and he basically had a bad day. And, because he's having a bad day, he started to take his aggression out on me. I was assembling a dog cot to train my dog "place" and he asked me why I got it. I told him it was to train our dog to stay in one place if we have guests come over or to stay in place just to calm down. He proceeds to tell me we don't have space and what will I do with it when we have a party. Well, I'm not an impulsive person. It took me weeks to buy this cot until I had it all all figured out. I told him we can put it in one of our rooms and it'll be out of the way. Then he tells me I'm ordering too much stuff on Amazon (we have separate bank accounts and I budget for the things I want) and that it's all over the house. You guys, the stuff I buy on Amazon is usually for the house or for my dogs...like fish oil. Also, he is the one who has a hard time putting his stuff away. When he buys something, he shoves everything into a corner. He also has a hard time letting go of packaging and old stuff. Then he tried to call me out and say I'm not organized at all and tells me my 'makeup' is messy. But, it's not. It's stuff from our wedding that are in boxes(recently got married) and plus, I've been purging my clothes and shoes to donate. I told him that because you've had a bad day, you don't need to drag me down with you and that it's not fair. He didn't say anything and honestly, it's expected. I wish I can say he didn't ruin my day, but he did. At this moment, I feel like crap.
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