Coping with boyfriend's porn addiction
Hello everyone, I wanted to share what I'm going through and maybe get some tips on how to deal with this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about half a year. When we were getting to know each other I asked him about his porn usage. He admitted he watches it and that he had a bad addiction to it when he was in high school but he has gotten better and that he's still working on it. I really liked his honesty and I have been trying to help him overcome this addiction. I have asked him to be honest with me and tell me whenever he watches it. He has been honest and told me about it a few times, but usually I have to ask. I show love and support when he doesn't watch it and when he does and tells me about it. However, most of the time he hides it and lies. The fact that he watches porn makes me feel sad but when he hides it and lies to me it makes it worse and it hurts me. I'm trying to be understanding, but it makes me upset and I don't understand why he still lies to me. How can I cope with feeling upset, unloved, and feeling like he's choosing porn over me? I feel like this situation is very toxic for me, but I do love him, is there any hope for this relationship to work?
hey love, if i were you i would feel like the second choice. and that’s not okay!! you don’t deserved to be lied to. however addictions are very hard so don’t feel like it’s personal. tell him how you feel and give him to ultimatum: you or porn i know you love him but you got to think of yourself too! always here to chat! - amy xo
Hi:)!! Listen, he should be telling you the truth if that is what u ask. Lying is never okay even if it is to spare feelings, so you have to make that clear. For advice on how to cope with the porn think of it like this. He is not lusting over the girls he is lusting over the act. Most likely he is thinking of u while watching, its just the act itself of sex that he enjoys. So dont take it personally or like u are not good enough but u are!! I never personally saw a problem with watching porn so this might be why I think oike this. But just know he loves you , mayb make a “tape” so he can watch u instead? Idk if thats something yohr comfortable with but its an idea! Hope this helped! Remeber he chose u for a reason, he doesnt want mia khalifa!!!
@13KittyCat
Just out of curiosity, is it possible for the both of you to find a way where you can watch it together, in moderation, so that you're included versus excluded? Would that make any difference?