Big heart that can’t fix my love
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We moved in together in April. Shortly after we moved in his actions and behavior began to change. About two weeks ago he finally (drunkenly) admitted to me that he’s been in a dark place. I’ve noticed his drinking had gotten worse and worse. He’s been trying to push me away or telling me to leave. It hurts my heart so much to see him in this kind of pain. I just want to take it all away. Especially after Thursday night, he got possibly to the worst place he’s been in months. I couldn’t do anything to help him. I just sat there and cried with him. I didn’t know what to do to console him. He told me to go to bed, he needed to be alone, so I listened. And I just laid there until he came to lay down with me. His pain and suffering is bringing so much sadness to my life. I can’t stand to see the person I love hurt so much and there’s nothing I can do to help him. Today, he went to go help a friend move. I’m at home cleaning and doing laundry. Just trying to make sure the house is straight, so he doesn’t have anything to worry about. I noticed it started raining, I sent him a text saying I hope it’s not raining on them while they’re packing the truck. He responded with that he’s having a beer alone because his brain isn’t okay. I can’t even respond to him other than saying thank you for telling me he’s not okay and that I’ll give him space. I’ve been praying so much for him and it’s not alleviating his pain. I wish God would step in and help him with some of his burdens he’s struggling with.
I had a alcohol time when I was feeling bad. It doesn't help. It helps you escape reality , sure. But it doesn't help. If I were you, I maybe would hint to a medical expert ? I know that being the observer is the worst, but I'm sure he like someone who care for him
@raeannelyssa I'm currently in a similar situation as you. my partner and I have been off and on for a few years now because of his depression, which is why I call him my partner and not my boyfriend. FIrst of all I want to tell ypu how strong and kind ypu are for wanting to help him and not running away, I know how taxing and draining it can be. It's hard loving someone who sometimes has so much going on in their mind. ypu just want him to be better and that's very kind of you.
I get depressed too. I know how awful it is to deal with. I just don’t shut him out. I tend to over work myself to take my mind off my depression, then explode in mental breakdown. He never sees my build up, or pays attention to me crying for help. He only sees me exploding and says I’m tripping.
@raeannelyssa the heardest part about being in love with someone who is having dark time is that they can't see naything but that darkness, including how darkness can be also on you. Luckily, you live him and that can make it easy for him to open up to you when he's ready and you don't have to worry about him doing dangerous things on his own.
