Backup Plan-Yes or No ?
Overwhealmed with negitave emotions today im in a relationship with some one who is going through a break up .they are also dealing with alot of issues.I want to help and be there to support him through it but it is hard.Lately Im feeling as if hed rather be else where than with me.we tried to talk about things yesterday but I just couldnt find the words.i do alot to help this guy with daily living and I know he appreciates its .But I cant help thinking that thats the only reason hes with me.That and the fact that the sex is amazing.
Am I being stupid ?
to hang around waiting for this guy to get over his ex and make up his mind if he wants me or not. He says he feels rejected and un wanted but thats exactly how he makes me feel but he cant see that
Am I just his backup plan.?
Am I being used ?
Is it possible to have an intimate relationship with someone when your still in love with Ex or is it just wrong and selfish of him?
Any advise would be greatly appreciated
@Kingfisher101
I'd just suggest communicating everything rather than holding it in. All thoughts and concerns. You're likely more than just a backup plan, but he may not be fully present right now. It'll take patience if it's going to work. Don't be afraid to set appropriate boundaries either. He definitely needs to know what you're in this for, and what you absolutely expect.
Thank you so much for your reply it means a lot .I recently did just that.I had a good long chat laid it all out there.it was very nerve racking.He took it all in and didn't say much .About a week later he said he needed to talk about something important. He told me he felt a real connection between us and that he missed me when I wasn't around.He also asked if we were to give it a real go and try and have a propper relationship what I would expect.So I told him and he surprised me by saying he wanted to be with me let's give it a go.I asked if he was sure he said yes definitely I've made my mind up I want us to be together. I'm pleased he came to the decision with out me pushing it. Thanks for your reply 👍