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thoughts on looking at sexual art while in a relationship

uwurai December 13th, 2023

me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. he's very loving and does a lot for me. however, he likes to look at often sexual anime art and downloads the ones he likes to his phone. he also downloads porn on there. this makes me quite uncomfortable when i think about it and im really not a fan. on one hand yeah, these drawings aren't real girls, but on the other hand i dont like that he's looking at other female bodies in a sexual way. sometimes he uses something like that as his phone wallpaper and i really dont like that either. when we met up he showed me this app he has with that kind of art on it, and when i look at his phone gallery i also see it, and it just makes me uncomfortable. does anyone have thoughts on this?

1
sunnyShip6354 December 15th, 2023

If it makes you uncomfortable please tell him that. Some guys really just are not aware of how you feel. My partner watched porn majority of the time being with me until I mentioned I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how it made me feel and it made me distance myself from him even sexually. I told him and explained all of that and he sincerely apologized and said he thought this entire time I was okay with and and assumed I indulged in those actions myself. He doesn’t anymore (or at least I like to believe him when he tells me) but I trust him so it is fine. I put it in a perspective to him so he would understand that I felt like he was mentally cheating on me in a sense (not to sound super dramatic) but that was the only way I could really put it in to words for him to understand. Trust me, I put that conversation off for a lonnnng time and the sooner you bring up something that makes you uncomfortable , the better you guys will be. Just insist you want your relationship to be stronger and better so you want to be upfront about this. If he doesn’t understand then I think you need to rethink your partner choices. Its not embarrassing if it is something that is actually making you feel uncomfortable. What is more embarrassing is if your partner doesn’t care. Wishing you luck!