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uwurai
2,047 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts69 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes34 Current upvotes34 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceApril 26, 2022
Recent forum posts
intrusive thoughts
Anxiety Support / by uwurai
Last post
 January 4th
...See more recently i've been getting more intrusive thoughts and its really starting to bother me. they make me feel uncomfortable and of course the more i want them to disappear the more they stick around. i have read the usual articles with tips about mindfullness and im pretty sure they're caused by the stress i've had recently, but i still wanted to share and if anyone has tips or experiences that would be appreciated😊
thoughts on looking at sexual art while in a relationship
Relationship Stress / by uwurai
Last post
 December 15th, 2023
...See more me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. he's very loving and does a lot for me. however, he likes to look at often sexual anime art and downloads the ones he likes to his phone. he also downloads porn on there. this makes me quite uncomfortable when i think about it and im really not a fan. on one hand yeah, these drawings aren't real girls, but on the other hand i dont like that he's looking at other female bodies in a sexual way. sometimes he uses something like that as his phone wallpaper and i really dont like that either. when we met up he showed me this app he has with that kind of art on it, and when i look at his phone gallery i also see it, and it just makes me uncomfortable. does anyone have thoughts on this?
am i actually being selfish and shameless?
Relationship Stress / by uwurai
Last post
 November 27th, 2023
...See more Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship. We have our issues where he puts in a lot of effort for me but i dont manage to give him that much in return, and i told him i would work on myself. a few months ago i moved out of my parents house. for dinner i usually cook alone, but sometimes other students who live here cook together so today i mentioned to my boyfriend i considered joining them sometimes. This lead to a discussion because of miscommunication from both sides, he seemed passive agressive to me and i seemed passive aggressive to him, but he got quite upset with me and said i was being shameless suggesting it, that it was selfish because there was nothing in it from him and because i should be focused on improving our relationship and not add stuff in my own life that causes problems for it. in the discussion he also said that our relationship is so one sided that it could seem to others as if im just using him, and all this together has really hurt me and im really not feeling well. He was against the idea because i would take longer with dinner, resulting in less time together, and i would make new social contacts that could also get in our way. Im in general trying to hold back for him already and i thought this idea wouldnt affect us that much, but he clearly thinks otherwise. Does anyone have advice on how i can approach this?
watching porn in relationship
Relationship Stress / by uwurai
Last post
 October 25th, 2023
...See more me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship at the moment. most of the time he is very kind and caring towards me and putting in a lot of effort. he always has time for me and therefore he often has to adapt to me when im busy. he watches porn sometimes and has a lot of it saved on his phone. i personally dont like porn and im not comfortable with him having that on his phone, but i try to get over it for now since we are on distance. he also likes to look at anime girl fanart sometimes, like "sexy" half naked kind of stuff, and also saves that to his phone. this is also something i try to get over for now, but it is difficult for me. today we were talking about it, i was hoping that it would get less and eventually stop when we live together and get married, but now it turns out he does not necessarily plan on giving that up at all. He says why should i let you take one of the few things i have from me. I am quite shaken up about this information and i personally dont support this at all, i dont want my husband looking at other women's bodies in the future, especially not the father of my children having stuff like that in his phone gallery. i do love him though and he takes good care of me and i want to be with him. Can someone please advice me on this, it would be much appreciated.
discussions
Relationship Stress / by uwurai
Last post
 June 18th, 2022
...See more my boyfriend has been through quite some stuff and we’ve been having quite a few discussions, but it often ends with him feeling like he’s having a deja vu from his toxic ex girlfriend which is painful for him. the thing is, i always get defensive when getting criticized. yesterday we were talking about this and i was wondering if there would maybe be a way for him to bring criticism differently so that i wouldn’t get defensive, but he claimed that he already did it the “gentle” way, while what he does seems to me like simply calling me out for what i do wrong. yesterday for example he said “you just didn’t talk.” later he said “i have some memes but i don’t feel like sending, and i feel clingy but yeah you kinda did your stuff” and then said he was trying to fix the mood, while writing another call out like that. at the end he mentioned deja vu and i know that at that point any argument i’ll give will hurt him, so i pretty much have to swallow, while actually i don’t consider this topic over yet. i just don’t really know how to deal with this, i do want to know how to improve but if calling me out is his way to criticize then i’ll keep getting defensive, and he says the only alternative is for him to just swallow.
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