We got back together and in another staye he left me
We have been on and off and 2.5 weeks ago decided to get back together because he tried attempting because he didn’t have me and how he loved me so much and since I been with him he’s accused me of looking at guys or getting nervous in certain situations and I just look at people who pass by I can’t like have my eyes down 24/7 I have had faults on my own but I’m not that person and I think he’s so stuck on the past I understand but we were attempting to move past that and he’s a trucker and we’re across the country and left me and kicked me out so I’m alone I’m a hotel trying to get back hom. He clearly told me I’m not his type physically or anything so I told him why did he tell me I was and how I was his everything and even we tried having a baby. I thought he loved me I still love him but I can’t keep doing this. I’m 26 I need to get into a career or figure my life out because I haven’t done anything and I feel shameful about that. He called me bad names and said I’m nothing and bring nothing to him. I feel so discouraged and so down. I need to get on medication and see a therapist I need it so bad and to get out of this bad cycle. I’m so lost. I hate everything.
@Priscella
Hi hun
It sounds like you are being blamed for someone else's insecurities. It's not your responsibility to avoid looking at people, because someone else can't cope with it. It is their responsibility to learn how to deal with it. The problem is, its easier to blame you. Does that seem fair to you?
It also sounds like you have heard that voice saying you are to blame and maybe have started to believe it and now doubt yourself. That's very common. This person has been important to you, so their opinion is important to you. I encourage you to listen to yourself. You do know what's best and right for you. And you do have the courage to do it. Of course there will be set backs and challenges. But commend yourself for trying and for each little step. You deserve it.
Best wishes. Whatever you do will be the right thing for you at the time. And there is no reason you can't do the opposite or something else entirely at another time.