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Priscella
4 1,626 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts121 Forum posts36 Forum upvotes36 Current upvotes36 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 31, 2020
Recent forum posts
We got back together and in another staye he left me
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 October 23rd
...See more We have been on and off and 2.5 weeks ago decided to get back together because he tried attempting because he didn’t have me and how he loved me so much and since I been with him he’s accused me of looking at guys or getting nervous in certain situations and I just look at people who pass by I can’t like have my eyes down 24/7 I have had faults on my own but I’m not that person and I think he’s so stuck on the past I understand but we were attempting to move past that and he’s a trucker and we’re across the country and left me and kicked me out so I’m alone I’m a hotel trying to get back hom. He clearly told me I’m not his type physically or anything so I told him why did he tell me I was and how I was his everything and even we tried having a baby. I thought he loved me I still love him but I can’t keep doing this. I’m 26 I need to get into a career or figure my life out because I haven’t done anything and I feel shameful about that. He called me bad names and said I’m nothing and bring nothing to him. I feel so discouraged and so down. I need to get on medication and see a therapist I need it so bad and to get out of this bad cycle. I’m so lost. I hate everything.
How to better communicate
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 September 10th
...See more Hello I have issues communicating with my partner, I tend to try to ignore the conversation or put it off and it’s causing strain. I know I have to just try but it’s hard. I’m emotional and I’ve had this issue for years. Any help? Thank you
Ways to cope
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 August 19th
...See more Hi just wanted to see how you guys cope when anxiety is really high or depression is hitting bad, thank you! No answer is wrong :)
Again.
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 August 15th
...See more I let my ex back into my life he said him losing me was life changing and I told him I had to heal and he should too because we both have our own issues. He said he’s a different person and would never hurt me again. Talked about about our future and what not and we could work out while we’re apart. Last night he was sending short texts and was like ok whatever he’s going thru something and I went to bed. Woke up was like just give me a heads up if you don’t wanna talk like o understand then throws “if we get back together it’s gonna be similar to how it was before and it’s not my fault” after he begged me to let him back into my life and to trust his word so he should be trusting in me and take my word too. I have not responded because he promised he wouldn’t hurt me again and here we are. I know deep down I had doubts and we’d be at square one again. It’s hard especially having borderline personality disorder and I’ve been putting off calling my insurance to transfer it to the new place I’m at but I know I need to talk to someone a therapist. I feel so drained and so depressed. It’s hard.
Ex agreed to spend time apart
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 August 10th
...See more My ex said he would wait and let us heal. He says he loves me to much to let me go. He says he knows what he lost and has had be reflecting everyday and knows he’s the reasons to why thing an ended the way they did. He did reveal to me that he lied to me about a weekend with his friend and told me the truth even tho I knew already but he finally said it. I personally am tryna focus on being me again and I applied to jobs that I hope I can get because they’re online order fulfilling and I have anxiety so it would be good for me. I just hope he does some work on himself and I hope he’s truthful about waiting for me and stuff. It’s a lot but I’m doing alright I’m trying not to text him a lot so I am not like attached to him cuz he is my FP as someone with BPD but I know I’m my own priority right now and that’s huge for me. I’m noticing patterns that aren’t healthy that I should change and I’m working on it. I’m working on going outside more cuz I just feel drained all the time but slowly but surely. I’m kinda proud of myself I set some boundaries and trying to love myself
Texts brwn ex went south…
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 August 5th
...See more weve been talking like friends and he called me and I answered. He said it hurt so much because I’m not there with him but we both have no jobs he has no car because he lost it and I want to heal away from him and he says I don’t love him enough because I don’t wanna heal while we are together but he wants me now and doesn’t want me to heal away from him when I told him I would most likely not heal and that me being back would make him better. He says I’m all he wants and then accuses me that I am seeing people and I want to fulfill whatever I want with this time away and I said no that’s not what I’m doing I’m trying to heal and he should too. It hurts me. He’s making me like an ultimatum and I said that’s not love and he says I don’t love him the way he does. He tried calling and I didn’t answer rn because I’m with my mom and brother and there sleeping and my neighborhood isn’t so good so I don’t wanna step outside and he’s just like if you have anything to say call me I’m done texting and before that I said I love you and haven’t responded to him. It hurts me. I know I’m healing a little because old me would’ve done anything to go back to him like ask for money to get there but I’m not doing that. This is so hard but I’m somehow ok but it hurts so much
How to help someone
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 July 29th
...See more So me and my ex broke up but we’ve been talking like once a day but he’s not ok. I still care for him so I want to check in on him. I’m doing better after the breakup but he isn’t. Before we broke up he did attempt and he’s upset because no one truly understands him and I said you’re right no one will truly understand you but there’s people you can talk to and resources out there to get better. When we were together he didn’t believe in like therapy and stuff and still refuses to go. I’ve sent him the hotline number so he has it if anything. I know people will say if he doesn’t wanna get better I can only do so much but I love him and care DEEPLY for him. He told me to not talk to him if I don’t have the answer to help him I guess? But I don’t wanna one day get a call saying he passed away. I’m gonna start the process this week to get insurance from the state so I can see a therapist. I know I shouldn’t have this weight on me but I want too and I wanna help him as much as I can. It’s a bit stressful and it does cause some anxiety but I’m trying to be a good friend to him and want him to be ok again and to get a job again and get his life going. I know he has one close friend but idk if they know how he is. I’m afraid I’m the only one he’s ever truly opened up too and I want him to be ok :/
I responded to ex lol obviously bad idea.
Relationship Stress / by Priscella
Last post
 July 22nd
...See more Idk why I even responded back. He said he was watching my stories to make sure I’m ok because he cares about me but we kept talking and he said that he would never trust again or be normal and stuff and I genuinely was worried he’d tried to commit again but he said he’s not worried about that but he said without saying it that he’s more worried about trusting someone again and that everyone in this world is eveil and I’m like so you’re saying I ruined love for you? And he didn’t wanna answer and said he hates everyone and I’m like you shouldn’t worry about love rn you should focus on yourself and my *** got sad and asked if he misses me he said yes and I asked if he kept our pictures and he said no he deleted everything and that hurt me and I knew from the beginning I should’ve never messaged him back but I gave the benefit of the doubt. I got upset and was like I knew this was a bad idea to respond back because I obviously do care about you a lot and you don’t so idc if you respond or not but he told me before that we will never be together like 2 weeks ago but I never responded to that message. I have bpd and I know he was my person and I loved him and I think I’m holding on because I’m scared to be alone. But dudes upset at me like yes I messed up too in the relationship but he physically would abuse me and that’s a lot to go thru. I’m not invalidating his feelings but I never hit him or anything like I’m 5’3 he was 6 ft 200 lbs and like there’s no way I could hurt him he wouldn’t let it happen. I think he doesn’t know it but I think he’s bread crumbing me and I’m engaging in it and just hurting myself because I could wait for us to heal and try again but that can take months or more but he doesn’t even wanna try to do that. I’m so self aware it sucks. I need to move on but I miss him :(
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