Terrified of anything and all things- And it's ruining my relationship.
I recently got with this girl, K, and she's honestly amazing. She's beautiful, kind, and the only person I've ever felt so fine with just touching me, even just holding hands.(Note, I hate being touched, and have always been one to pull away or freak out when someone nudges me.)
But I feel like she's way too out of my league. I'm short, skinny, glasses- And I'm just not an all around picture perfect partner, I've accepted this. I just know I'm not a very good partner for her- She treats me honestly so well but we barely have time to hang out with each other. Our families are pretty different, I'm always stuck doing something else- And I just don't know what to do here. I don't have time for a relationship, but I just am utterly in love with her. I've never been so stressed out about something like this before, any suggestions on how I could be better for my girlfriend and figure this out? I just feel like a crummy girlfriend.
I feel for you! the way you talk about your gf is so sweet but I hear the stress you're feeling too.
although, if you two are together, you can't be so bad for her, can you?
in my opinion, nobody needs you to be perfect. it's okay to not be perfect.
as for not having time to see each other, hmm, that may be a real challenge, but are there ways you can still consistently connect with each other? if you can't hang out in real life, can you phone call? can you write letters? I don't know, maybe you two can come up with your own ideas...
and have you told her about how you're feeling? I don't think you have to present it in the worst-possible way, but, something like you've written here, ... making sure to also express that you care about her. I'm not sure, but maybe just being open about this stuff and letting her respond honestly in turn would help to build communication and trust. and if she responds empathetically (which, it sounds like she might, given how you've described her), that might ease some of your worries ...and you could also maybe ask her directly what she would like or what would feel "good" to her in your relationship, if you are uncertain of how to be "good enough."
I don't know. I have issues with relationships too sometimes so I may not be right about everything. but this is what I would think might be worth a try. you can take it or leave it. maybe don't be too hard on yourself; or don't scare yourself out of giving it a try with this person. it sounds like you care a lot about your gf and she cares about you. if this is a new relationship then it especially makes sense to me that things might feel uncertain but maybe with time you two will work it out together more. I hope that you get to talk to her about this stuff when you're ready, if you think it'd help. whatever you decide, good luck to you <3
