Relationship

I remember my first heartbreak three years ago. I remember crying for hours in the washroom , praying to God to ease my pain , even though it was hardly one year relationship . I have an habit of holding on for too long ,hoping that maybe my love could save our relationship and change him to be more focused on our relationship as it is in rocks. Sometimes I would eat so much to a point that all my emotional voidness is temporarily filled. Sometimes I would just sleep beside the phone ,hoping to get a text from him. My hopes were in vain. The thing is when you love someone, no matter what were you doing was right, it would never be right for a person who never values you. My relationship was a turning point to grow from my pain and to prioritise myself. I remember three years ago, this month, I was questioning myself, what did I do, God, for him to ignore me, treat me worse than a stranger and make me feel like a doormat. I remember crying in the church so many times ,because I don't wanna burden my mom with the ongoing emotional turbulence I was facing. I did communicated to my close friend but I just feel I don't wanna burden her with my trigger. I felt so depressed to a point I stopped studying. I looked at the mirror ,cried for hours and questioned myself " what was something in me that made him not love me". I remember being the best version for him but he just shattered my spirits. It took three years of grief to understand that people who truly care for you, will always be there behind your back.