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maleiaiaia
7 2,705 M Hopeful Heart 6
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts92 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupTeen Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceOctober 15, 2024
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I think I might have an eating problem.
Eating Disorder Support / by maleiaiaia
Last post
Thursday
...See more In the past few years of my life, I've struggled with a few eating problems but I'm not completely sure if these habits are related to anorexia or not. My problem is I either eat too much or too little. I've been struggling with weight loss for a little less than half of my life, due to insecurities and bullying. It's been my dream and need to be skinny. I workout a lot but it upsets me that I don't see a big difference. And along with this, I tend to binge eat a lot, like I can't control how much I eat. No matter how much I try to limit myself I can't. And if I'm not binge eating like crazy, I'm barely eating or not at all. Along with trying to lose weight to get my dream body, I can tend to starve myself to help the weight loss process, but then I eat again and it drives me crazy, and makes me feel hopeless about my body. No matter how much people tell me, I can't love my body and my eating problems are big factors of this. I can't control how much I eat, and I don't know how to. As of now I am trying to eat less along with working out a lot to lose weight, but then I eat again and feel the need to exercise more. I don't know how to control my unhealthy eating habits or to lose weight, and I desperately want and need to. 
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I'm losing interest in everything
Reading & Writing / by maleiaiaia
Last post
December 6th
...See more Almost two months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. He lost interest in me and is now dating one of my now ex close friends. We went back and forth and now it seems as if I was the problem in the whole relationship. Throughout my life, I've had insecurity problems and fear of abandonment. I feel like nobody truly likes me, and this relationship and the breakup made those problems worse. He was always embarrassed to be around me or be seen with me and made it clear. I basically had to beg for his attention and for him to not act like a stranger in public. I was always very paranoid that he would lose interest in me and leave me because I wasn't good enough. This breakup has made those problems worse, making me scared to be in another relationship incase they're going to also be embarrassed to be seen with me, don't truly like me, and will just leave me when a better option comes. Although this breakup happened over a month ago and the relationship had a lot of downsides to it, me feeling like the problem and him moving on so fast and me having to get over everything has made me start to lose interest in everything. I have a constant feeling of lingering pain and emptiness since the breakup, and I can't seem to get over the whole situation. I feel bored with everything, and I can't feel completely happy with anything, even my friends. My self esteem has gone down a whole lot more. I'm afraid I won't ever be truly loved or won't be left for someone better. I don't want to be seen as an embarrassment or not good enough for anyone. But ever since the breakup and this relationship, it seems like that's all I am. I really enjoyed the relationship and am very sad it ended. But as I mentioned, he was embarrassed of me and I had to beg for his love and attention, and it seemed like he liked me for the wrong reasons or maybe not at all or maybe a lot,  who knows? But I do know he is putting a lot more love and effort into his new relationship, all things he would've never done for me. When we broke up he said he didn't feel a thing and realized why he broke up with me. I don't know how to be better, because I actually want to be loved by someone. I get attached to people and they end up leaving and hurting me. I can say a lot more, but I don't know how to put it into words. I don't know what to do about everything, but it isn't fading and I don't want to miss him. For some reason, all the good moments are sticking to me and overlooking the bad things and it's making it worse.
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