Recreating Boundries
Hello,
my partner and I have been together 13 years. My family refuses to accept her and before this weekend I had strong barriers that allowed me to see how interested my family was in my life. To be frank, my boundary for the past couple years has been that I stay away from my family and stay close to those who add value to my life. This past weekend my family home was threatened by a Forrest fire and I reached out to see how I could help. This created a rift with my partner but she encouraged me to go help. When I was done helping I let my family know where I stand with my boundaries and why I don’t go around. I ended up hanging with my cousins and drinking. Mind you that I don’t drink. I called my partner to pick me up and she refused because for one I was drinking and for two she didn’t want to be around my family. I called her some ugly names and my sister and her friend gave me a ride home. When I arrived home my partner spoke to my sister and told her how she didn’t want me home while I was drunk and I started to blame my sister for creating the rift between my family and my partner (my chosen family). I want to ensure that I am strong enough to recreate my boundaries and do a hard reset. I want to learn to become less impulsive in my decisions. Any suggestions?
@Moniv32Yes, Boundaries are essential, and they are for each relationship, The Best relationship is with ourselves, and how we value ourselves. God Bless Everyone
@Moniv32,
so you got yourself in a bit of a situation. The booze didn't help so next time, no booze.
Apart from that, things like this happen. We are only human.
You already set firm boundaries, good on you.
Don't beat yourself up on one single situation.
@dukeofdearham,
I greatly appreciate the advise. No booze next time. It’s a good reminder as to why I stay away from it. I am working through my deeper issues of being of impulsive. I can’t be so hard on myself, because like you said, I too am human. Have a great night.
@Moniv32,
you're most welcome.
Don't work too hard on yourself and don't change into someone you are not.
Often it suffices to be aware of self. Like noticing when you get impulsive. Next step is simply to say "stop", take a break, sleep on it, whatever.