Partner always talks about health issues

@Tommy1971

NO you are not a jerk....it is difficult to listen to constant complaints and see no improvement or action. 

some people want an answer and sadly there is a great deal of doctors who just barely listen to patient and diagnosis on the simplest answer and are NOT correct. 

Instead of constant complaints what is she doing about it ? ... second opinions ? 

 If using some medical sites it is common for people to assume they have the most rare thing and their DR just missed it ... this can cause disconnect with provider as they know some patients have decided they have a diagnosis they do NOT have. 

making a log of what is happening and what brings on symptoms some DR you need to do the leg work for....   does she speak up to doctors?  ask real questions or just storm out and think they are all stupid....... some disagree with providers but do not speak up to THEM even though they are the customer and should speak up if not getting the service they ( insurance ) is paying for. 

It’s a mix of all the above, some things are diagnosed, some think she is worried about that are not diagnosed. These are the things I tried to talk her off the ledge, but I come across sound like I am denying anything is wrong or I don’t care. I don’t want to agree with a fearful self diagnosis and enable being a hypochondriac, but I do want to be sympathetic to her pain.

my personal opinion is that a lot of it is trauma related, but she doesn’t believe that, we know the trauma should be dealt with alongside any real medical diagnosis

@Tommy1971

You are so correct .... I had to deal with hypochondriacs in past and there is no resolving that issue... 

it is hard to show real support and pain is an item that unfortunately people have ruined by being drug seeking and many dr dismiss people with chronic pain.  

She and I barely had time to talk last night, I was working late. We got into bed and she went on a 20 minute rant about work, no one believes she’s sick, and she thinks they’re accusing her of stealing things I was legit tired, so I just listened with my eyes half opened and didn’t really respond much besides yeah. No how was my day or anything.

i’m working at being more self loving, and not needing to seek out affection, affirmation, but yesterday was a harder day

@Tommy1971

I went through something similar i had a medical issue and problems at work etc and the stress and aggravation i did not see until later was poisoning my life at home and interactions with others... 

i doubt i would have responded well IF someone told me these things but .. she has a choice in how she accepts her situation ......not expecting it all to be 100 percent back to what it was etc  attitude made a huge difference and and i actually left toxic job.... never looked back and i realized the lingering pain and complications lifted when i let go of the anger and hostility ...