MIL
My bf thinks I have a problem with his mom.
I don’t. I really like her so far.
I think it’s subconscious. I’ve been hurt a lot by other people’s moms over the years, as silly as that might sound. Most of my exes moms (I’ve only had a few) were super toxic or just straight up not very nice. I tried in past relationships to win them over and they were usually too self absorbed to even notice or care. I’ve had close friends with really fake moms too lol. They would be cool to your face but gossip about you as soon as you left. And my stepmom takes the cake and is very literally a horrible person. I have a good relationship with my mom though. I don’t dislike all moms obviously. I’m just scared of rejection. My most recent ex’s mom REALLY verbally attacked me when her son and I broke up. She said I needed Jesus in more ways than one.
Anyway, how do I let my guard down with my bf’s mom? She’s been nothing but very nice and supportive so far. She said she’s never seen her son so happy and even gave me a birthday present. I don’t want to punish her or my bf because of my past pains.
@spicyavocado3788 hi there! i am kate, a trained listener and community mentor of this community.
i understand and know how difficult it can be to let your guard down with your partner's mother. i also struggle to let my guard down with partners' parents. it is something that i think can be worked on, though :)
i believe what is called 'exposure therapy' may be most helpful. how about you start spending more time with her? getting to know her and getting used to being around her? i think trying to break the subconscious wall you have created between the two of you - due to your past - could help out a lot. let me know what you think!
Thank you so much! 😊 that sounds really simple but most effective.