Lost in trying to prove myself
I've been in a relationship for 10+ years and even though we have had plans about family...marriage...moving etc (the normal stuff) my partner has told me she feels incredibly let down by me as this is not where she imagined we would be this far along.
I have admittedly let myself get caught up in family stuff or the stuff that blows up in your face and spent more time dealing with that rather than go back and discuss and plan the bigger things. Now my partner has said she feels disappointed, angry, upset all the time and is constantly pushing me away physically and mentally but I don't want to give stop trying. This isn't where I wanted things to be either and I feel like I'm stuck in between seeking approval that what I'm doing is ok and trying to take the initiative but then getting criticised for things being the way they are. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place every day and it's upsetting. We're both upset but can't talk to each other. Has anyone else experienced this or have any advice. I feel like I'm struggling every day but she wants me to prove I'm worthy at same time as not wanting me to as well.
@conscientiousNickel7021
In planning a future and such we all at some points feel we are not where we imagined we would be. Seldom if ever are people satisfied with their own progress...
you speak of the work and effort you have put in and her feeling it is not enough ....
How do you feel about her efforts to achieve the plan ? has she helped or hindered the progress ? or are the roles defined as it must be on you?
a relationship should be a partnership in working towards the same goal. Sometimes a teammate needs some help or motivation but at a point perhaps she needs to see her form of motivation is not working....
What’s going on that she feels so upset about? You don’t have to share here, but a question to ask yourself. How is it interfering with your relationship? Are there boundaries that should be set up with family?
i’ve been there, still am. I had something I was struggling with and it affected our relationship pretty badly. I didn’t think we were going to make it. I realized some things, made some course corrections, and her attitude has changed a lot. I hope she would be the same.
