Losing hope

I don't know anything about your relationship but I'm going through something similar myself. I understood that to "fix us" I need to fix myself and he the same. I'm trying to switch the focus from the couple to the single. If we really care and are good for each other some self-focus can help us reset the relationship. I don't know if this can help you but sometimes when we are long with someone we can't see anymore when we end and start the other and that is all a mess. Wish you and your partner all the best 🙏

@Breevus

you are two individuals that try to work together as a pair.  I would agree with other poster that you both need to work on yourselves and then see if the pair still works.

you said this last year you fought hard to keep together .......what were you fighting ... behaviors/ communication / compatibility ?   

People change sometimes to fix a relationship...... to make things work ....but in process lose themselves and in the end they are unhappy but playing a role.  

yeah I understand me and my girlfriend have been together about 9 months we can known each other 4 years we dated for 4 months in the beginning when we met and didn't work then it's not working now on both really doing our best I don't see it possible I love her but she has been taught and raised to not talk about feeling that aren't good and I've been taught to talk about them now I'm just so many things I need to talk about to understand to clarify the able to deal with them and not let myself fill in all the blanks then I'm asking her to fill in for me I don't see it working at all that I can't break up I know the advice that will follow this post lol but it is what it is 7 years only real I've ever went out even a date with she loves me I love her but don't know how much longer I can survive without talking about things that you don't want to talk about almost looks like she's hiding something her having like double life but I don't know cuz she won't talk about it makes her really angry if I'll bring it up and she gets extremely defensive all signs point the the seat but I honestly God don't see it I've been in a lot of relationships that were disable and had twice four times as many a times I recognize it pretty easily the only time I see it and her is but the questions I can't ask I'm talking in circles I'm sorry thanks for sharing nice to know I'm not alone really life kind of sucks it is what it is

@Breevus,

ever considerated relationship therapy? It might help to communicate better. 

If you go down this road, do realize the goal of relationship therapy is not c to fix relationships. That is something you guys have to try. 

And idmf you'd find a therapist both of you feel comfortable with and heard by (important!) a good therapist definitely would advice additional single therapy on top might one or both of you benefit from that.

My perception is that whenever people get in a serious relationship, they should consider relationship therapy. Not because something is wrong but to prevent things going wrong, unnecessarily.