Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I’m having complicated feelings

ImTrying28 May 31st

A bit back my boyfriend broke up with me because my mental state starting draining him. So, I didn’t try to talk him out of it just apologized for not noticing and making him feel that way and hung up the call, but right after I called my best friend and just cried on call with him (this friend is a mutual friend that isn’t attracted to women, so there’s nothing there). And after a while of that I thought I was feeling better but realized it was a false comfort, though I still sort of went through a destructive stage I would say, blocking him, trying to find another guy already, and falling into bad habits I got over. However, after I got my stuff together, I kinda realize I don’t want some other guy I want my ex. So, I started to rant to our other friend and was like “what if I worked on my mental state and got better, could we get back together?” (I’m not always delusional people cope in different ways), but to my surprise she agreed and asked said ex if that was a possibility, he agreed too. With this I become optimistic and thought “The worst that could come out of this is us not getting back together, and the best is me becoming a better version of myself”, and started to put in an effort which brought me here since I can’t afford professional therapy at the moment. However, my conflicted feelings come from how I understand he needed out of the relationship too but I just wish this was avoided (which is my fault for not getting this under control sooner but I’m not 16 yet and would need adult consent either way), or that this was an outcome that could have happened some time that wasn’t so close to my birthday. Overall, I’m just kind of hurt that I can’t be with my boyfriend on my birthday, I feel that I was left alone at such a low point, but I also understand he has feelings too and I was draining him, he had to do what was best for him. In conclusion, I just feel conflicted with these emotions pushing me, I don’t want to be selfish and I don’t like being selfish, not saying I’m perfect and selfless as this is proof I am not, but still. Anyway, if you read this far thank you for staying, I just needed to type all of my emotions out in a calm manner and not out of sadness or anger, thank you.

5
AskTara June 1st

@ImTrying28 Hey! 


I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. Breakups are incredibly tough, especially when they coincide with other significant emotional events. It's completely natural to feel conflicted and hurt. You're showing a lot of self-awareness and courage by reflecting on your emotions and seeking support. I am so proud of you! 🤗

It's important to give yourself credit for taking steps to improve your mental state. Even though the timing feels particularly harsh, remember that healing and personal growth are long-term processes. 

You said you can't afford therapy at the moment, so I suggest you find a social organization in your area that might help you. Or you are free to message me and I can help you find one.

And one other thing is to set realistic expectations. While it's okay to hope for a reconciliation, try to set practical expectations. Focus on what you can control: actions and your growth. The outcome of your relationship will depend on many factors, including your ex's feelings and circumstances. Give yourself time too. Healing from a breakup and improving your mental health both take time. Be patient with yourself and recognize that it's a journey with ups and downs.

Even if it feels hard, try to find ways to enjoy your birthday. Spend time with friends, do something you love, and celebrate yourself. It's a special day, and you deserve to feel appreciated.

Remember, it's okay to feel conflicted and to have mixed emotions. What's important is that you're taking steps to address your feelings and improve your situation. Keep reaching out for support when you need it, and know that you're not alone in this. Thank you for sharing your story and for trusting us with your feelings. Take care of yourself! 💛
3 replies
ImTrying28 OP June 1st

Thank you so much for your advice and I would like to know more about the social organizations!

2 replies
AskTara June 1st

@ImTrying28 I can help you find out if you let me know where you live. Or if you don'nt prefer that, I will suggest you to look online. There are a lot of online and in-person services. 

1 reply
ImTrying28 OP June 1st

I’ll look online right now thank you so much 🫶🏾

load more
load more
load more
shyPark9820 June 2nd

I noticed that you said that you were 16 years old. I work at a high school. There should be a school psychologist or even the guidance counselor that you can talk with. Those things are kept confidential unless it's self harm. But that is standard for any psychological services for suicide prevention. But they may have resources for mental health support. Plus talking with the school psychologist or a guidance counselor is not something your parents need to know about.

I think it is very awesome that you are taking the steps to practice self care by seeking mental health support services.