I feel terrible
Me and my husband got into a fight because I told him he was being condescending to me about something and he blew up at me. Not wanting to talk or explain. He just shut me down and out. I got over it. Gave him kisses and hugs and tried talking to him but he seemed shut down to me. He went up to go to bed and around 10pm called and asked if I was bringing or son up. I told him that it felt like he didn't care about me and then he told me whatever and hung up. So I slept in the spare bedroom to give him space. He didn't take it that way. So he decided not to talk to me for 2 days. I finally called him and he still didn't want to talk. I asked him if he cared for me but he told me no. I know he says things he doesn't mean when he's upset but that one hurt. I explained my side and that I wasn't trying to keep our son from him but he's too damn stubborn and won't give up that talking point. It feels like he wants to leave me cause he says I don't listen. I told him I do but I just didn't like how he said it to me. I even repeated back what he said but he just doesn't to want to see it. I'm afraid. Afraid if he does leave me he'll try like *** to take our son from me. All because I told him I didn't like how he was talking to me. I shouldn't have to beg to be told I miss you or I love you. I feel so alone. I'm very scared right now.
@Stargazernow Hi. Sorry you’re having troubles in your relationship. This isn’t a criticism, but when you say things like, “you’re being condescending,” it can have the exact opposite result of what you want. It gets your partner in a defensive mode. We humans tend to want to “win” arguments more than listen to requests that challenge our ego. If you’re interested, I’ll suggest this book that I found super helpful. If you want to know more about how it helped me I’ll be glad to discuss. — All the best —
Feeling Good Together, Dr. David Burns
@Stargazernow
You called him out and he is throwing a pity party for himself .... he wants you to beg him for forgiveness over you speaking up for yourself ...... BS. You cannot keep guessing how he is going to react on every move like he is a toddler ready to throw a tantrum
Frankly you can try the various rephrasing items or games marriage counselor types suggest but in the end he is getting what he wants you feeling scared and willing to kiss his feet to make him feel better..... is this what you want out of a marriage?
@Stargazernow I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult and emotionally challenging situation. It can be incredibly hurtful when conflicts arise in relationships, especially when there is a breakdown in communication.
It's good that you initially gave your husband space when he seemed to shut down. Sometimes people need time to process their emotions before they're ready to engage in a constructive conversation.
@Stargazernow I didn’t read the text but you need to be strong. Take strentgh from people here and use for yourself.
you are not the challenge you are in
