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Stargazernow
1 750 M Little Steps
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts34 Forum posts52 Forum upvotes55 Current upvotes55 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceOctober 15, 2015
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I am alone
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 June 6th
...See more I feel like my marriage and relationship itself is going downhill. I recently gave birth in March and encountered something i didn't think could happen there. My husband got mad at me and ignored me just after I gave birth and was moved into my room. Then when leaving the hospital he didn't help me into the car or out when we arrived home. That same day he again got mad at me and ignored me again for 3 days but this time he locked himself in the room and didn't help me with the newborn or my 3yr old or dog. I cried myself to sleep realizing he didn't care to help. When the baby was about 1 month I asked him to watch her at which time he told me it wasn't his job. And that if i wanted him to watch the kids then I could go get a job sincei couldn't do mine right. I'm a stay at home mom. I asked him to watch her so I could cook. Side note. During my first month postpartum, I was still washing clothes, cooking, throwing the trash, taking the dog out to do is business, and going up the stairs to put my toddler to sleep. Everything i was doing before with no help. Things that got in the way of my healing and no joke, set me back I just wanted to cook with no baby attached to me. Now, at 2.5 months, I asked again if he could watch her so i could make breakfast and he told me to go get a job then and he would get someone who could take of him and the kids to come to the house since I'm a horrible mother and that I'm a nanny since I need/ want help. I should be able to do it all on my own. He's a trucker who's gone 5 days a week so I'm doing this on my own anyways. I tired to tell him that being a dad was life now and he should be helping when or if I ask. He was more helpful when our first was born. Way more helpful. I just feel alone and like this marriage is only going to get worse. He told me to take our daughter, the newborn, to the kitchen so she could start learning. I'm losing hope on a daily basis. I just needed to vent and some comforting words from people. I have no friends and those I've tried to talk to don't respond, life gets in the way I know, or just don't ask what's going on with me. I also don't talk to my siblings as there is a rift between all of us. So the only person I talk to about how I'm feeling is my husband. Hence why I say I'm alone. Thank you for reading. Sorry it's long.
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Issues? What issues?
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 August 15th, 2024
...See more I don't know where to start. Husband has decided that my patents should send him money for rent instead of me because he said I make things hard and I complicate things. I had just asked him a clarifying question and that apparently was all it took for him to decide that. He is coming home from work tonight and tomorrow, after delivering his goods, is going to take our son out but leave me at home cause that's where he leaves his troubles. And he wonders why I tell myself that no one loves me and that no one cares. I ask him to just be nice to me and he can't even fathom the idea of it. I'm sad and hurt but this is a normal feeling that I've been going through for so long that i feel shouldn't be happening in a marriage.
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Should it matter?
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 May 12th, 2024
...See more I owe money to a credit card company. I want to keep it open since it will be my only card that I have that is based on my old income since I'm now a stay at home mom. My parents offered to help but I didn't set anything in stone with them. Just got an idea of what payments would be today. I started mentioning it on the phone to him about how they offered and that I may take them up on it. I thought I was doing a good thing by not getting us more broke since my husband is paying off his debt collectors s and mine. One is a law firm that was suing us. He got mad and has decided to not help. He even told me to move out, but it's my house, and go live with my parents. I told him I thought I was taking some burden off by letting my parents help but if we really can afford it then can we pay. No he said. My parents are moving in with us in late June, I asked if we could take over then, he said no. I told him that they are paying 700 to help with bills and that should free up 700 for us. I told him I just feel like I don't pull my weight since I'm not contributing to the money. He pointed out that I should be helping out at home. I admit I have been lacking there. But I have been slowly cleaning around here more and doing things I have putting off. But I also told him it's pretty un-mormon of him, he's a priest, that he's not willing to help me and being petty since I didn't talk to him first and I was trying to fix it and was trying to talk to him about it. He said since I'm not in his religion I can't use it. I said even if you're family isn't in the religion, shouldn't kindness still apply to them? I feel sometimes with how he treats me that he's not exactly leading or seeing a good example as a priest. He started telling me to go to church to learn how to be a woman and learn my place. I thought church was to spread the word of God? How are they gonna help me clean? Besides I don't want to be Mormon and I know I can do this myself. I just bothers me how I'm dependent on him and he knows it but still won't help because he got mad. I think I'm depressed. I feel so down. I probably shouldn't have brought up religion but I thought it would help him to see how it's so against it with what he's doing.
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My husband is not being a dad
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 September 3rd, 2023
...See more My husband is not being a dad to his 11mo son. He wants to take him to his grandpa's house and leave him inside with the grandpa's girlfriend instead of watching him. He's going over there to weld and do some wiring. So he won't even be inside the house. He sees nothing wrong with other people being the parent. I do. So why not leave him at home where he's being watched by me, his mother? I've mentioned this before to him but he's fine with other people doing his job. When he's home he won't help to feed or change his diaper. But he wants to spend time with him. So now he's mad at me. He was mad at me yesterday too because I didn't take his advice on how I should drive. He's one of those people who think he's right is how he drives and everyone should drive like him. I can't win. I don't think I've had a day go past where he isn't mad at me for something when he's home.
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How do you be grateful?
Journals & Diaries / by Stargazernow
Last post
 August 28th, 2023
...See more I'm really trying to be grateful for things my MIL does but I find that the things she says or offers grate on my nerves and I often feel uncomfortable with them. She asks 11mo old son about spending the night over at their house but I don't want that or feel comfortable with doing that. I know I have separation anxiety since he's my first born and I told my husband this. But I doubt he told his mother. They also push about putting together my sons first birthday but I have had NO input in it whatsoever. It's my son. My husband says I should just take it since it's free but he's my son too and I would have liked to have thrown it. How can I be grateful even though it bugs me? Can I? Should I ?
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Should help come with stipulations?
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 August 22nd, 2023
...See more I was bringing in the groceries and put what I could in my hands and asked my husband to get the last 2. He said no cause if I can grab all these then I can go get the last two. That hurt me. He also didn't want to help feed our son cause he calls it tedious. I feel like help should be done, at least here at the home, without the "well if you got all that then get those too" mindset. He doesn't help change diapers if the baby poo'd if he already ate, and he doesn't change the diaper without promt but wants the diaper changed often. I find he often says " I would've done that" many times about things. He should do it if he sees it. I throw the trash out plenty of times but he sees it and knows it's full but doesn't throw it out. I guess those last parts are the weaponized incompetence part (if I spelled it right). But man. It bugs me
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Kindness doesn't hurt
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 July 7th, 2023
...See more My husband is mad at me for not deciding to make food for him. He came in from fixing the car, he asked when I wanted to make the food. I asked him when he wanted it and asked if he was ready. I explained it just needed a few minutes to heat up but I wanted to know if he was going to come in now or later. Wrong answer. So now he's outside cause he's mad at me for not deciding for him. How am I supposed to know how hungry someone is? He didn't even come in last night from fixing the cat until 11. I'm not gonna heat up food just for it to sit for hours like it did last night. I explained but he tells me he doesn't care. This stuff he pulls makes me want to be divorced. He does it often and I've asked him to just be nice to me but it's like he has s goal in mind to hurt me everyday. Why can't he just be nice?
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I feel terrible
Relationship Stress / by Stargazernow
Last post
 June 2nd, 2023
...See more Me and my husband got into a fight because I told him he was being condescending to me about something and he blew up at me. Not wanting to talk or explain. He just shut me down and out. I got over it. Gave him kisses and hugs and tried talking to him but he seemed shut down to me. He went up to go to bed and around 10pm called and asked if I was bringing or son up. I told him that it felt like he didn't care about me and then he told me whatever and hung up. So I slept in the spare bedroom to give him space. He didn't take it that way. So he decided not to talk to me for 2 days. I finally called him and he still didn't want to talk. I asked him if he cared for me but he told me no. I know he says things he doesn't mean when he's upset but that one hurt. I explained my side and that I wasn't trying to keep our son from him but he's too damn stubborn and won't give up that talking point. It feels like he wants to leave me cause he says I don't listen. I told him I do but I just didn't like how he said it to me. I even repeated back what he said but he just doesn't to want to see it. I'm afraid. Afraid if he does leave me he'll try like *** to take our son from me. All because I told him I didn't like how he was talking to me. I shouldn't have to beg to be told I miss you or I love you. I feel so alone. I'm very scared right now.
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