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I am confused- why am I loving so selfishly
Sanvee11 November 26th, 2023

You all know about my one sided love story, if you do not, then kindly go through my post- " Tragic tale of unrequited love." 

Anyway, the boy I love finally responded to my messages yesterday, saying, " Hey I am a bit depressed so want to stay incommunicado till I find my purpose in life. Pls accept my apologies." 

Now, ideally I should empathize with him and pray for his well being. Instead, I find myself heartbroken by the fact that I will have to wait for an indefinite amount of time. I am feeling so sad because of this. But I am confused- like when you love someone, you should think of their well being first right? But here I am, feeling unusually maudlin.

Why am I feeling so narcissistic? I am unable to understand. I am dying for his message. I am feeling shattered, but not becoz of his depression but becoz of the agony of an indefinite waiting time.

What's wrong with me? Why am I being so selfish? Please suggest possible reasons and please guide me through this confusion. I don't want to be selfish, I want to pray for him but I can't help but reel under the magnitude of my own hurt. Why is this happening? Please help me.

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KatePersephone November 26th, 2023

@Sanvee11 hi there, sanvee! first of all, i'd like to thank you for sharing this with us :3

i understand how his response to your message has left you feeling heartbroken. more often than not, when we are very attached to someone, even though we do want to emphasize with them when they struggle with something, it can leave us feeling exactly the opposite, especially in your case, because you really do not know when exactly you will get a message again. 

1 reply
Sanvee11 OP November 27th, 2023

@KateDoskocilova thank you for your soothing words. I was really feeling kind of strange, because I don't want to be selfish in love, but, thanks to your explanation, I now realize how extremely attached I am to him, I am totally smitten with that boy😅.

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selfdisciplinedCar1395 November 26th, 2023

@Sanvee11 Hey there! Thanks for sharing your story.

You know, it's totally cool to feel a bit off sometimes. We're all human, and life can throw some unexpected stuff our way. But guess what? It's okay!

Sometimes, we might not feel ready for certain things, and that's alright too. Ever had a moment where you didn't jump at what seemed like a fantastic opportunity? Turns out, it could be because you needed time to get yourself in the right headspace.

And you're spot on – not everything happens when we want or how we expect. But later on, you might look back and think, "Ah, that's why it didn't work out then – something even better was waiting for me!"

I hope things will make sense very soon:))

1 reply
Sanvee11 OP November 27th, 2023

@selfdisciplinedCar1395 thank you for your kind words.

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ellie626 November 27th, 2023
@Sanvee11 hey, i really get what you're going through. i don't think you're being selfish by having to wait for him, even if it's for both of your well-being and the future of your relationship. when we feel that there's some ambiguity in our relationships, especially the precious ones like yours, whether for good or bad, we feel anxious and even heartbroken sometimes. and that's a completely normal, human kind of reaction! there's nothing wrong with you--i'd feel the exact same way if i received a response like that from someone i love, too. the fact that you're acknowledging that you should be wishing him well and patiently waiting already shows me that you care. i hope all goes well <3
1 reply
Sanvee11 OP November 27th, 2023

@ellie626 thank you so much for your compassionate understanding. 

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