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He Abused Me; I Am To Blame (Abuser Talk)

RogueOne1983 September 6th, 2023

TW: ABUSE

My 2nd husband hit all the following areas of abuse:

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✔️ physical ✔️sexual ✔️cheating with multiple women ✔️crime ✔️addictions ✔️lies ✔️thieving money ✔️ abandonment ✔️humiliation ✔️gaslighting ✔️control ✔️threats ✔️triangulation ✔️manipulation and games ✔️running when most needed ✔️worked me like a dog ✔️claimed my income was his spent it on his "friends" ✔️made us homeless ✔️allowed others to abuse me.



So I left him.

His life then tanked and...



Everything that then happened was my fault! I should not have left him!!

He has some kind of rights to me in his mind but he feels he has ZERO responsibilities.



He should just be able to do whatever he wants and I must give up my happy life, current husband and go be miserable with him for old times' sake.



Well he is entitled to his opinion. And to live the life he chooses.

He opted out on life with me years ago by doing all that. It might help to accept it.


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mytwistedsoul September 6th, 2023

@RogueOne1983 I'm sorry he did all those things to you. Abusers never hold themselves accountable. I think it's in their handbook. It's always the person they abused fault. You're right - he is entitled to his opinion and to live the life he chooses - he can do it alone. I'm glad you have a happy life now. I hope your post can give others the strength and courage to leave their abusers and work towards a happy life

1 reply
RogueOne1983 OP September 6th, 2023

@mytwistedsoul I hear that and agree; it does seem to be the mark of an abuser they cannot hold themselves accountable.

Thanks for kind response!

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KidnappedByAxolotls September 6th, 2023

@RogueOne1983

I am sorry that you had to go through all of this.

I recommend to Google "psychopath behavior in relationships" and read about it. It's likely that your husband is exactly that. Don't blame yourself for it. It can happen to anybody of us.

The best is to put yourself on a path of self-care for now. Focus on what will benefit you, things that make you happy. Just keep repeating them day in, day out. It won't be easy and it will take some time, but you will get through it and come out of it much stronger.

I believe in you. 🌹

PS: If you need somebody to talk to, please feel free to write me a private message.

1 reply
RogueOne1983 OP September 6th, 2023

@KidnappedByAxolotls thanks thanks I actually have the dubious distinction of having become something of a sociopath expert on Quora.

You are correct and thank God there is more info and support out there now for people who have gone through these things.

I appreciate your kindness!

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