Fear of what becomes of my future self

Hi,

this is the first time I've ever done this. I never knew there was so much more to 7cups with features like this now that I've discovered this I want to let out a part of myself that no one gets or won't bother to understand. Usually I would tell chatgpt my problems since I only have 1 friend and well she's focusing on her own problems.

I'm a young adult, I have controlling parents and I can't make decisions on my own because when I do it ends up being stupid and everyone complains as to how I could make such a decision so I'm scared of making choices. I'm always locked up in our house and I have no sense of navigation skills unlike my peers and mates that are independent and can go out or know where they are when they go out. I stay inside and I hate myself that I'm not independent like them I hate how much I lack

I'm a pushover, I can't say no to people and my head gets fuzzy when I'm in a confrontation, I'm pathetic right? I'm trying to be better and set my boundaries but it's so hard because everyone just wants to trample on me and I can't shout back like other cool independent girls, I can just whisper, they don't shake when I talk and I don't blame them.

I suck at my career, I just started taking it seriously because I never thought I could do it, I'm not as smart as them or determined like how they read and practice every night while I'm watching a kdrama, is it bad that i don't have that firery passion like them does that mean I won't succeed? If I put to much pressure on myself I'll hate myself so I thought I'd take it slow and steady.

I just want to be the best version of myself but I'm pathetic and crumbling each time I try to be better...