~Fear of being alone~
Hey, I just wanted to share what's been on my mind lately. I've always been the type of girl who's only had crushes, and my fear of betrayal, attachment issues, and low self-esteem have always kept me away from being in a real relationship. However, I got married in my late 20s. He's the first ever person I grew mentally, emotionally, and physically attached to over time. Eventually, I learned to love him, but our relationship became toxic, and now we're separated.
The thing is, I love the idea of being in a relationship and having someone by my side. But now that it's ending, I'm finding it hard to accept that I'll be alone again. However, I know that letting go of him is the best thing for both of us since we're not compatible and he's not happy with me.
The problem is, I'm worried that I won't find love easily in the future because I'm a reserved person. While some people find me friendly, it's never easy for me to open up and let someone into my heart. I keep having these negative thoughts about dying alone, and they're really eating me up inside.