~Fear of being alone~
Hey, I just wanted to share what's been on my mind lately. I've always been the type of girl who's only had crushes, and my fear of betrayal, attachment issues, and low self-esteem have always kept me away from being in a real relationship. However, I got married in my late 20s. He's the first ever person I grew mentally, emotionally, and physically attached to over time. Eventually, I learned to love him, but our relationship became toxic, and now we're separated.
The thing is, I love the idea of being in a relationship and having someone by my side. But now that it's ending, I'm finding it hard to accept that I'll be alone again. However, I know that letting go of him is the best thing for both of us since we're not compatible and he's not happy with me.
The problem is, I'm worried that I won't find love easily in the future because I'm a reserved person. While some people find me friendly, it's never easy for me to open up and let someone into my heart. I keep having these negative thoughts about dying alone, and they're really eating me up inside.
@persistentFarm8730. I'm sorry about your marriage. I'm not married myself but I think you got married on wrong reasons and that's why it's failing. I don't know if that person also married for the wrong reasons. My sister almost got divorced and did marriage counseling about 10 years ago and they are still together. My cousin married a girl only because she got pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing but it ended in divorce. He did find someone and got married for the right reasons and is very happy. I guess you got to have faith and stay positive. Maybe work on your confidence and love yourself.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." - Matthew 6:34
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He Shall direct your paths." - Psalms 3:5-6
First of all let me just say, I’m impressed by your courage! Not only to be here and confess your situation so forthrightly; but even more so that you know in your heart that you must let your toxic relationship go and have decided to do so! That is a tremendous positive step for your own personal growth!
And this is why I feel very confident that you will find your way forward from this!
Just take the lessons from this relationship with you. There were so many valuable things that you understood about yourself, about relationships, about trying to love another person, through this experience! And you realize that if it can happen once, it can happen again! You will find somebody again, someone who cherishes you, and encourages you, someone who makes you happy, and you will have an adventure together! ^^
And maybe it won’t always be “happily ever after”. Maybe there will be other heartbreaks. There will be others who are not compatible. There might be others who are selfish, who want to take advantage of your vulnerability, who will just use you for your company, and if you respond to your fear of loneliness you might just let them! Other people can never be the solution to “loneliness”. Loneliness is inside of us, our rejection of our OWN company! Other people can only make us feel less alone, but they only distract us from our actual loneliness; they cannot cure our loneliness.
But if you continue to live with perceptiveness that you show here, to know what is toxic and unhealthy for you, and to have the discipline to let go of the things that impede your growth and happiness, then you will be OK in the end!
Nurture the love in your heart. You have qualities that are worthwhile. You deserve love and acceptance! Dare to love yourself! Love courageously! I know you are capable of this. I see it in this post. ☺️
CatsInTheCradle
@persistentFarm8730 I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time right now. It's understandable to feel scared and uncertain about the future, especially after going through a difficult relationship and separation.
Love is easy to find. There is someone for everyone. Take chances and gamble with your feelings. Eventually youll come across them or theyll come across you. There are billions of men in the world and many are looking for a women like you. Keep trying. Dont stop searching until youve found what you were looking for. Doesnt matter how long it takes. Itll come.
