Confused/angry/sad
Hi guys, I'm Moon!
I'm new here, and I decided that I should write about my experience with one of my friends, because I think then I could see this situation from multiple perspectives, so probably I would understand it better.
(To be honest I don't usually post anything anywhere, so I'm a little bit nervous, and ashamed, but I will try to explain.)It will be long, sorry!
So, I was around 15-16 years old, when I met him, (so we know his gender) he helped me when someone bullied me, he was kind, so we quickly became friends.
After a while, we stopped talking, and we haven't talked for around 2 years.
He texted me perivous month, and asked me If I remember him, and If I wanna talk with him again, I agreed.
In the first few days nothing special happened.
We just told each other what happened while we weren't talking.
So It was just simple "getting to know each other more" conversations.
Later he asked me, If I ever had boyfriend, and what kind of relationships I like, and the point is that I said I also prefer a long-distance relationship, but he doesn't like it.
I respect anyone's opinion, so not that was the problem. The problem was that he didn't respect mine, because he acted like If he wanted to decide my feelings, example he said that "Moon, you can't be in an online relationship" which hurted me, I hate the ex-bf topics anway, so he apogalised, and promised me that he will never talk about it again.
[ ] Soon he started calling me example "my love, darling, honey,sun, precious" and that "you are so beatuiful" , he asked me weird things like "Can I kiss your neck, what would you do If I were kiss your lips" when he called me "my love" for the first time I thought that he is joking, but when he called me the girl of his dreams, and even asked me that If I were met a boy like him, I would like to be the boy's gf, then I started to think about that he has a crush on me. And he also asked me If I wanna be in a relationship with anyone, I answered him I'm not ready for a few reasons,example 1-2 weeks are not enough to get know someone (after 2years people can change) , but NOT he is the problem If he wanted to ask me out. He became upset, so that day he went to sleep earlier. I ovbiously noticed later, so I told him that I don't have problem with him, he looks like good, he is smart etc., and I respect him. I even drew about him and I to my diary, I showed him and I told him that I didn't want to hurt him. He answered that he appreciates it, and anything happens he will support me. But compared to that, next day he asked me If my exes are better than him, I were ready for them, and I answered that I was 12-13-14 years old, and I couldn't think rationally, but I learned that good look is not enough for a relationship, we also need to know that person. And I asked him If he haven't told me before that online relationships are don't exist, and he said: "Then I said that. But for now, I say It's true." Then It made me confused, after It he random started that I'm lied something about one of my exes relationship, because I didn't mention It before, and he never heard similar situation, and that I don't have values, he is laughing at me, If I believe my fairytales then something is wrong in my mind, I'm a liar and he stops the conversation. I didn't lie, but I don't think It was fair from him that he accused me, but I could accuse him for more things: He doesn't trust me, he didn't take into account that I'm not ready, he promised he would never mention the ex-bf topic again but he did it second time. He started nitpicking with me, and made fun of me, insulted me. I know the "no " can be hurtable, and he had bad experiences, but he still doesn't have right to treat me like that. I really tried to be fair, but I ended up being the scapegoat. All of these things happened fast, when this arquing happened I couldn't tell my "accuses" to him. I'm still confused on some level about this. I still have unanswered questions. So yeah, that's my story. And I really didn't want to be unrespectful to anyone. Thank you If you read it!
@moonligt Thank you for sharing your story, Moon. It takes a lot of courage to open up about such personal experiences, and I really appreciate you being so honest about your feelings and what’s been happening with your friend.
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot of confusion and hurt in this friendship. It’s clear that you’ve tried to be understanding and respectful of his feelings, while also navigating your own boundaries and needs. The mixed signals and accusations you’ve faced must have been very distressing, especially when you’ve been trying to reconnect and build a positive relationship.
It’s completely valid to feel upset and confused by his behavior, especially when he wasn’t respecting your feelings or boundaries and was making hurtful remarks. It’s important to acknowledge how difficult it is to handle such a situation, especially when you’re trying to be fair and considerate.
How do you feel about the way he’s treated you and the impact it’s had on you? Are there any specific questions or aspects of this situation that you’re still trying to work through or understand better?