Confused and heart broken
I suffer from severe trauma From past relationships. I was single for 5 years before this amazing man came into my life. He has done nothing but love me and show me he loves me. But I can't get past my head telling me that it's not real ans he's just love bombing me. I get completely upset when he has to leave to go home. I know it's healthy to have space but My mind tells me he's doing something wrong. We just had a big fight and broke up. I have texted him a couple times and he hasn't even responded. I'm shattered and heart broken. I miss him terribly and I can't even function without him.
@Bekindtoyourmind83,
the challenges with trauma are it won't go away, you want to deal with it but don't know how and wish to be accepted for who you are anyway.
You can't expect yourself or someone close to learn to live with it. That requires professional help. I've found EMDR to be a great help.
It's a bit like finding the right balance between getting help and being able to be in a close relationship. Having someone close who understands, who you feel safe with enough to be open and vulnerable, without past traumas taking over and ruling your life at times.
Having someone close while don't knowing how you can prevent old stuff from kicking in and, thus, keeping it inside hence living in the past and present at the same time sooner or later wears you out. And will.prevent any close relationship from growing and being nurturing.
@Bekindtoyourmind83 I think it may be crucial to see some things in a broader perspective: If you imagined yourself not in the moment, but 10 years later - what could you feel and think?
On one hand remembering and processing the traumas of the past may let some good opportunities to heal to pass you by.
On the other hand, some bad patterns tend to repeat, so maybe it's a good idea you double-check if you don't follow such one again.
It is about patience and time, but I believe you are so deep in emotions now it can be hard...