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A year of lies
funnyVillage1676 July 12th, 2023
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I recently broke up with my gf of 1 year. We are/were coworkers, I'm currently suspended pending an investigation she initiated. We had been keeping it low key for the whole year so no one in the office knew.


What led to all of this is my role suddenly got reduced (not demoted) 2 weeks ago. It really got to me and my suspicions of her meeting and speaking discreetly with my boss came to the forefront. I confronted her about it and she confessed to having those meetings but wouldn't provide details. Whether or not that played a part in my reduction was irrelevant to me, I felt absolutely betrayed and ended things with no desire for reconciliation.


The day after I ended things with her, I remembered that I had gifted her my deceased mother's Kitchen Aid mixer and texted her asking for it back. Hours went by with no reply which is very unusual for her. We had disagreements before and this was typically her way of holding something against me as leverage but I was not willing to play this game one more time.


I reached out to her "ex" bf since we have common friends and he had established a good rapport with her parents. I explained the situation and that I needed help retrieving the mixer. As we were talking though, he revealed to me that he was not in fact her "ex", but they were still an item! She had maintained their relationship on the weeks I was busy with my kids (different relationship).


I texted her letting her know her house of cards was crumbling and she replied almost immediately. She told me the Kitchen Aid would be outside her front door and that she was going to report me to HR. She did, and now here I am. She's angry because she was siphoning money from her "ex" who was willing to pay for any bill she told him about and I essentially cut that off.


I'm not as bad off as the "ex", who sold his house to help her financially, but I'm incredibly saddened by all of this and will most likely lose my job for it as well. 2 lives upended and reputation ruined over now what looks like a long con job. Devastated.

6
toughTiger6481 July 12th, 2023
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@funnyVillage1676

wow thta is a lot of drama.... i understand at the time you thought a co-worker was ok to date ..we cannot help who we are attracted to but in long run breakups can lead down a road if not let go at least seen in a different light then you once were.

Unfortunately i feel many need to really research anyone they may become involved with these days. As you and her not so EX have discovered. Like you said looks like she took ex for a longer scam then she did you.

funnyVillage1676 OP July 12th, 2023
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Hindsight is 20/20, but there's no real way of researching a person to find out if they're trustworthy. She doesn't have a social media presence and the only way to verify things she was saying was to follow her around in secrecy. That's not research, that's spying, and I feel I have to resort to that then it's already over.


Her "ex" is the real victim in all this. According to him he's spent almost $300,000 supporting her financially over the last few years. He sold his house and quit his job Spring of '21 to spend more time with her and help her. By the time I started working with her that summer, she was already talking *** about him, referring to him as "***", joking about needing a hitman to get rid of him, and exploring relationships with other people. He thanked me for telling him all of that but I still don't feel great about it

dukeofdearham July 13th, 2023
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@funnyVillage1676,

you did nothing wrong and was taken for a ride. I do believe in what goes around comes around and one day she'll pay the price. Consider yourself lucky that you listened to your intuition and I applaud you for standing up for yourself and ditching her.

funnyVillage1676 OP July 13th, 2023
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I appreciate that, it helps to hear. Honestly, I don't really care if she gets her comeuppance or not, that's not driving me. I let coworkers I'm friends with know what's going on not as some revenge plot but moreso to protect them from falling into any of her traps. She's clearly not well, she needs real help, or that comeuppance may one day be severe. I'd rather nobody else gets hurt, including her

ConcernedWife2017 July 13th, 2023
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@funnyVillage1676


I am so sorry to hear this. That is a horrible situation! I just don’t understand people these days. It seems like no one is satisfied being with just one person anymore. It’s hard to find people that are.



I feel as if though you did the right thing by reaching out to her “ex”. At least now he knows that she was using him and even though he will not recover his money, he’s better off knowing. I hope you get your mom’s Kitchen Aid mixer back. And I sincerely hope you don’t lose your job because of her.

funnyVillage1676 OP July 13th, 2023
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Ah, yes, the Kitchen Aid was successfully retrieved! She left it outside her front door for me to pick up as she was threatening me with the HR thing. Sorry, forgot to mention that.


I won't judge anyone who feels the need to have multiple partners, but there's context to that. The way she handled things is definitely not it.

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