Am I Crazy???
June 2020 - My fiance got a new job and one of his coworkers is an old high school acquaintance. He hid her from me for 3 months. I looked at our text records and found out, for those 3 months, they were texting daily....A LOT. I confronted him and he said he'd stop because I was uncomfortable with it. (The reason for the new job is because he got fired for sending *** to a coworker in the office. That affair was 5 months 🤦🏼♀️)
September 2021 - we get into a fight and I brought her up again. He swore on his sons life that he wasn't texting/talking to her.
February 2022 - I see his microsoft teams chat with her starting from the day in 2020 he told me he'd stop. I messaged her and he did too. He muted her on teams.
Dec 2022 she was still muted.
February 2023 - She is unmuted. I don't want to say anything. I want him to just tell me. These past 3 days have been pure torture for me.
Am I acting crazy here??? Should I let it go or just keep making myself sick? I need help. I really don't know how to cope with this.
@Lostnlonely81
Hi there, it sounds like you're going through a really tough time and feeling betrayed by your fiance's actions. It's understandable that you're feeling upset and uncertain about what to do next.
You're not acting crazy, and it's important to prioritize your own emotional wellbeing. Keeping your feelings bottled up and making yourself sick won't do you any good in the long run. It's important to address this issue and find a way to move forward.
It might be helpful to have a frank and honest conversation with your fiance about how you're feeling and what you've discovered. Communication is key in any relationship, and it's important to express your concerns and feelings to your partner.
It's also important to set boundaries and expectations for the future. If you're uncomfortable with your fiance's continued communication with this coworker, it's okay to let him know that and ask him to respect your boundaries.
Consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor as well. They can help you work through your feelings and provide you with coping strategies for dealing with the stress and anxiety you're experiencing.
Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected and valued. It's important to prioritize your own needs and well-being, and take steps to address any issues that are causing you distress.
Take care of yourself ❤️
@Lostnlonely81
You are not crazy. Your feelings are valid.
You have given him multiple chances to redeem himself and mend his ways and I'm sorry that he has chosen this path. He has been lying and cheating (yes, texting her behind your back is emotional cheating). Cheating doesn't even need to include sex or ***. Anything done behind the partners back, which is stealing what the partner should have been sharing with him, is the simple definition. There can be a million reasons why he feels the need to do this, none of them justified for causing you this pain. Even if something not working in the relationship, he always had the choice to either discuss/fix it with you or to walk away with dignity before causing this mess.
Whether you want to let it go or confront it, both are difficult choices. Would you believe him if he promised change again? Trust is incredibly difficult to build and it is obvious from the fact that you checked his account multiple times, that sadly, there is no trust.
While you process what he has done and figure out what you want to do, please remember to be kind to yourself.
