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7 years of relationship came to an end. I want to move on.

Atulpandey111 June 21st
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My girlfriend cannot marry me because her parents are not ready to do so. Even our caste is same and everything is favourable (I'm from India) then also they're not ready. The only thing what is stopping me is I'm jobless. Last year I started my graduation. Now I'm in 2nd year having my age 20 by December 2024. I can't get a good job with just this qualifications. And only a good job can create the chances of her parents being ready to marry her. I have talked to her mother. She rejected me. Also she isn't supporting me in this case. She's with the decision of her parents. She want to protect her reputation. Marrying a low earning man and performing love marriage will create bad reputation of her parents in the society. Thus She's with her parents.

We met 9 years ago. We were friends and then we started loving each other. I fell for that girl very much. She also loves me even today. But her parents are the reason we just can't be together. I used to text her sometimes after all this dramatic situation. I cried and I was in depression that she'll be no more of mine after all these 7 years of love,care,effort,support, happiness, etc.I was not ready for this. So I was texting her. She now doesn't want to message me. She want to move on. So she's doing this. So I also said that okay then we'll not talk anymore. And now I'm feeling super bad. Again those same feelings of sadness and loneliness which I felt few months ago when I came to know all this.

I really want to get all this over forever. Help me. I want to reshape myself. I want to earn a lot. I want to help my parents. I want a new life, a new start. But I cannot start.

MY PAST HAUNTS ME. ALL THOSE MOMENTS AND STUFFS. :-(

6
dukeofdearham June 23rd
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@Atulpandey111,

it's a shame that reputation and money takes presidency over love.

Love should be unconditional and supported. Maybe you can find your own way out of what I consider to be limitations due to cultural upbringing and deeply embedded perceptions.

In other words, follow your heart, not the money. Do what makes you happy. Don't try to make others happy at your own expense.

Atulpandey111 OP June 23rd
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Yeah. Thanks a lot for sharing your time with me. :-)

akunknown June 23rd
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@Atulpandey111

It’s sad that that a relationship that lasted 7 years ended. I’m really sorry that happened and that your past haunts you. Please don’t let it haunt you anymore because the past cannot be changed since it’s over. Please focus on your present. 

Good for you that you’re moving on according to the title of your thread. I’m proud of you for that :)

Please reach out if you wanna talk. 


Atulpandey111 OP June 23rd
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Yeah now I'm rewiring my brain and my aim. Earlier my aims and dreams were around that girl. But now I'm changing and giving importance to myself.

Thank you for listening to me. It means a lot.

0m June 24th
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@Atulpandey111

I am so sorry to hear that your relationship of 7 years has ended. After such a long friendship and relationship, it is natural to have plenty of memories associated with her. It is normal to feel the pain for losing her for reasons outside your control. From what you have shared, it sounds like the past several years you dedicated all your emotions and dreams towards building a future with her, and now that you have accepted this isn't the direction life is taking, you are now wanting to focus all your energy towards new positive goals - your parents and your future security.

As you walk this very difficult journey of re-learning what you see when you look at the future, there are a few self help guides that can help. The most important one is managing emotions - it helps in the exact way you said, to rewire your thinking into constructive directions instead of negative ones.

https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/

https://www.7cups.com/breakup-advice/

https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/


Atulpandey111 OP June 25th
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Exactly. That's the thing. Thanks a lot brother. I'm so happy that I came here. You guys are really helping. Thanks a lot.