26 and struggling with relationships
I’ve been pinging on and off this app for a while now. Mainly because when I try and think about how I feel with relationships it’s too confusing and stressful so I choose to just ignore it completely.
I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve never even made it past date no.1. I don’t know if I self sabotage or if there’s something genuinely wrong with me. 10% of the time I think having a relationship would be nice. But 90% of the time I’m not interested at all. I don’t know where I stand with myself. I want to want to be romantic. I want to want to be in a relationship. Life would be easier if I was. But when I think about relationships it’s something I can never picture me having.
Ive spent 10 years feeling this way. Like I said, most of the time I just ignore it. But the problem is becoming more difficult to avoid with each year I get older. I’ve thought about speaking to a professional therapist but I also feel like my problem doesn't qualify for that. Id just be wasting their time and stealing them from someone who actually needed help with their mental health.
I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone else feels this way. So at least I don’t have to feel like I’m all alone.
@MiniKitten
@MiniKitten I think it Takes time to find the right person but are you putting yourself out there are you using any dating apps? I do hope you find someone it's hard.
I have used dating app before and went on a couple of dates with guys but it never felt right and never went anywhere. I’m not on dating apps now because I don’t want to play with people’s feelings and lead someone on if I don’t have any interest in a relationship.
@MiniKitten Well I hope you find someone apps haven't worked out for me either but it could be that I haven't found anyone worthwhile
@MiniKitten
i think everyone who put off asking for help did they world would have less confused and struggling people.... it is OK to ask and run through your thoughts about relationships or other challenges with people here or therapist or a best friend type of confident.
With each year that passes is your wanting a relationship for YOU or to meet society expectations.?
There are many people older than you that are not making it past date #1 either.... who is keeping score.? ...
dating is hard we try to make a great impression but if that something is not there it just isn't.
i read these items where people list their qualities or second guess themselves like it is a job interview..... example "I fit all the job description criteria why did they NOT hire me? " so next one is more nerve wracking and pressure etc.....
MY best job interviews and personal fit and growth were my absolute worst ..... i actually called the guy interviewing me DUDE ..... he thought it was hilarious i never remembered doing it.... same with relationships the person i spent the good part of my life with now .... at first meet thought they were awful and self absorbed which to some extent they can be .........but they also had sides of themselves that are funny and endearing and make me laugh.
you can not see that in a nerve wracking first date ....it takes time and love comes softly sometimes and you find it when you are not really expecting or searching for it.
@toughTiger6481 This is good advice
Similar story here. I am too much afraid to ask anyone due to rejections and kind of feels like a failure all the time.
I hope, atleast you will find someone of your dreams 💓