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MiniKitten
847 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceMarch 26, 2018
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Hey šŸ‘‹šŸ»

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I think Iā€™m asexual but I donā€™t want to be.
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by MiniKitten
Last post
 March 8th
...See more Iā€™m 27 F and more certain than not that Iā€™m some form of asexual. Iā€™ve never had a relationship, never been interested in one. I occasionally have crushes on people but it never extends past that and the thought of someone touches me grosses me out. But I donā€™t want to be. I donā€™t want to spend my life alone. I want a connection with someone. I want someone to want me. My brotherā€™s getting married this year and itā€™s just making me feel so rubbish that I canā€™t have that. I donā€™t understand why I have to be this way. Why I canā€™t just be normal like everyone else. How can I change it? I just want to feel normal.
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Am I being selfish / unreasonable?
Family & Caregivers / by MiniKitten
Last post
 February 15th
...See more Sorry this is going to be long. šŸ˜– Bit of background, Iā€™m 26 still living at home with my mom and step dad. I have contributed financially to the house since I got my first job at 16yrs. 8 years ago we moved into the house we live in today. Itā€™s a rented, 4 bed, 3 bathroom house. Itā€™s pretty large and when we first moved in we needed the space because there was my mom and step dad, my brother and I and my nan all living here. But since then my brothers moved out and my Nans passed away. However, my parents donā€™t want to move out of the house despite me saying that we should for the past 5 years. Anyway, the house costs Ā£1200 per month in rent (excluding all the bills). For the last 3 years Iā€™ve paid Ā£700 a month in rent to my parents, before that it was Ā£500 per month. Iā€™ve always paid my rent, even when I was on furlough during covid and only getting 80% of my wage. Iā€™ve never questioned or argued the amount my parents have asked for. I understand that Iā€™ve had the privilege of living in a very nice, large house for the past 8 years. I know Iā€™m lucky. However, I am desperately trying to save for my own home. I donā€™t want to rent, I want to buy. I work hard, but have only been paid a min wage job for the last 8 years despite being in a management position (thatā€™s a whole other can of worms). I finally left that job last Aug to set up my own business. The business didnā€™t really make any money for the first few months - it was to be expected whilst it established and I grew my customer base. But I still paid my rent every month. Now the business is doing better, but itā€™s only been open 6 months so itā€™s still small and I canā€™t be pulling a massive wage from it, so Iā€™m still effectively on min wage for now. The house rent has just been increased by 30%, which my parents are contesting but weā€™re going to have to pay more regardless because they donā€™t want to move. I know my parents are going to ask me to up what I pay them. And this is my frustration: All my friends who are also 26, living at home, are able to save for their own home because they pay their parents Ā£200 - Ā£250 per month. Iā€™ve searched online and google reckons the average amount a 26 year old pays their parents to live at home is Ā£200 - Ā£300. Iā€™ve been paying double if not more than that for 6 years at this point. I also have to cover my car tax, insurance, phone bill, pets care and vets bill, whilst only having a min wage job. My parents know that over half my wages go to them for the house. I donā€™t spend money on myself or buy myself nice things yet saving money is so hard because of how much my mom and step dad ask me to contribute towards the house. But I also know that if I moved out and rented by myself I would be paying more money than I pay at home. So I feel like Iā€™m trapped between not being able to save at home but being able to save even less if I rented someplace by myself. And my goals to get a house deposit are getting further and further away. And I feel like I canā€™t vent my frustration over not being able to save because I am lucky! Because I live in a lovely house, in a lovely area and I have a job and Iā€™m not destitute on the streets. Iā€™ve got to stop rambling now. Am I just being a spoilt brat?
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26 and struggling with relationships
Relationship Stress / by MiniKitten
Last post
 October 3rd
...See more Iā€™ve been pinging on and off this app for a while now. Mainly because when I try and think about how I feel with relationships itā€™s too confusing and stressful so I choose to just ignore it completely. Iā€™ve never been in a relationship, Iā€™ve never even made it past date no.1. I donā€™t know if I self sabotage or if thereā€™s something genuinely wrong with me. 10% of the time I think having a relationship would be nice. But 90% of the time Iā€™m not interested at all. I donā€™t know where I stand with myself. I want to want to be romantic. I want to want to be in a relationship. Life would be easier if I was. But when I think about relationships itā€™s something I can never picture me having. Ive spent 10 years feeling this way. Like I said, most of the time I just ignore it. But the problem is becoming more difficult to avoid with each year I get older. Iā€™ve thought about speaking to a professional therapist but I also feel like my problem doesn't qualify for that. Id just be wasting their time and stealing them from someone who actually needed help with their mental health. I guess Iā€™m just looking to see if anyone else feels this way. So at least I donā€™t have to feel like Iā€™m all alone.
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To date or not to dateā€¦
Relationship Stress / by MiniKitten
Last post
 April 17th, 2023
...See more That is the questions isnā€™t it. And wouldnā€™t it be wonderful if my brain could, for once in our 26 years of life, decide on what it wants. A brief explanationā€¦. Iā€™ve never dated. Iā€™ve never been in a relationship. Iā€™ve been on a couple of dates but nothing ever advanced because I never let it. It never felt right. However, at the beginning of the year I met this guy. A wonderful, kind, loving guy. We messaged for a few weeks and then met up for a date. We went for a meal and then chatted at his place for a bit. I had a wonderful time. Heā€™s the first person Iā€™ve ever met that I could see sharing a future with. I went home feeling happy. Enter my conniving little brain. He wanted the arrange another date, a week later. My brain went ā€œah no I donā€™t want thisā€. Why? Oh any and every reason under the sun. He lives there, he has a cat, he hasnā€™t watched the same tv series as me. Stupid, pointless reasons. But I felt in my gut that I didnā€™t want it. So I called it off and tried to move forward, thinking maybe dating just isnā€™t for me. In the interim from January to now, Iā€™ve thought about him a lot. Iā€™ve been tempted to message him several times but didnā€™t because I thought heā€™d have moved on too. My gut told me I didnā€™t want to be with him, then weeks later he is all I can think about. I went away on holiday with a friend and all I could think was that I wanted to share that holiday with him. Role around to yesterday. He messaged me. He sent me a message saying heā€™d been thinking of me and that he just wanted to see how I was doing. If Iā€™ve been thinking of him and heā€™s been thinking of me, surely thatā€™s a sign right? And my little brain got excited. The butterflies, maybe heā€™s the one! But this morning, the doubts crept back in and that feeling in the pit of my stomach keeps coming. I feel like Im on a rollercoaster where every twist and turn and high and low is my brain and body flipping from wanting to be with him to not wanting a relationship at all. Iā€™m scared to give it a go because I donā€™t want to hurt him and if I have doubts about being in a relationship surely thatā€™s also a sign? Itā€™s kept me up at night and makes me sick to my stomach. Is this normal? I feel like every choice in my life is some massive decision that need dissecting and scrutinising but it really, probably, isnā€™t that deep.
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25, never had a relationship
Relationship Stress / by MiniKitten
Last post
 January 4th, 2023
...See more I donā€™t even know if this is the right place to put this, so sorry in advance if itā€™s not. i donā€™t even know what Iā€™m posting I just donā€™t understand what wrong with me. So Iā€™ve never been in a relationship before. Iā€™ve been on a few dates but never gotten further. The idea of being close to someone genuinely freaks me out. Ive been chatting with this guy recently, who is lovely. He is such a gentleman and kind and caring. I went on my first date with him on Sunday just gone and had a lovely time. But every time he suggests meeting up again in filled with this feeling on dread in my stomach. Iā€™ve not slept since meeting him because this feeling wonā€™t go away. On one hand I try to look at it logically. Iā€™m 25, I want to move forward in my life and itā€™s weird to not have a partner. Everyone I speak to tell me I should have a partner. But on the other hand all I can think about are the negatives. I enjoy my alone time, thatā€™ll be gone. I love my own space and hobbies. Iā€™ve seen how my brother and moms relationships are and whilst they have great, wonderful times itā€™s also a lot of compromise. I desperately donā€™t like change. And I donā€™t want to be a b***h and lead this lovely guy on when Im feeling this way. Surely you should be excited at the thought of meeting back up for a date. I just donā€™t know anymore.
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