In need of advice (suddenly cut off by a friend)

@RiseLikePhoenix

Hey dear one!

It's pretty tough to face something like that, for sure. No matter how bad someone feels, what troubles they have, it's never alright to cut someone off so suddenly without giving them the opportunity to support you. Especially in such a close friendship you seemed to have. I've dealt with something like that too and it was really hard to deal with it. There is really no standard way to resolve it or cope with it. All friendships have their unique things and because we are all so different it can't be something to say or do that will apply in all situations.

All I can tell you is ... give it time. To your friendship. It may be possible your friend made it seem like there is no place for anything anymore between you two, they may have hurt you really bad but ... hey, we're all humans. We make mistakes. We hurt those close to us even when we don't want to. They may come back to you and apologize. It may be possible that anything you may do right now will not come accros to them as good at all. So just lay low, take care of yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to be good in this period. There is more in life than just other people. Especially as you said you are dealing with some things too. Just let time make a better move. Hope everything will turn out alright!

@RiseLikePhoenix I recently cut one of my best friends from my life. I've known her almost my whole life, but I moved away from her and our hometown a few years ago for school and then work. Honestly, my cutting her out had nothing to do with her personally. It was more that we're growing in opposite directions. I had unfollowed her on Facebook because I didn't want to go all the way to defriending, but she tagged me in posts a lot and it was bothering me. Most of the posts had to do with old inside jokes (sometimes years old) that I don't really laugh at anymore. I don't remember the last time we had a real conversation about what's going on in our lives now. I didn't inititate contact with her much, and the only times she contacted me were to say more things from the past. I don't really want to remember the past. In hindsight, maybe talking to her and telling her this would have been better, but I still feel like maybe she wouldn't have understood and it would have caused more upset than quietly defriending and moving on.

It's difficult to give advice on how to cope with this emotionally - try reading this article from Psych Central. "Take nothing personally" is like a mantra of mine now and it has worked wonders for me. :)

@RiseLikePhoenix

You have come to the right place. I started on 7cups soon after my friend pulled the same thing, and I have found help here.

I went through the same thing a month ago, and am still going through it. The most frustrating thing about it was the refusal to talk about any part of the situation. She refused to even talk (text) with me, and would not even listen to what I wanted to talk about before refusing me. To start, you have to accept that fact that it was not your fault.

I'm still grasping at straws as I try to get a grip on things. A few days ago I wrote a letter to my "friend" and went through everything that she did to hurt me over the past month (beginning to end) I intended to send it to her, but found a better use for it. Since the letter pretty much included every thought and bad memory of her, I decided to return all of these thoughts that I no longer wanted, to their source (her). I still work with her and she can still be somewhat friendly at times. So today I gave her the letter and told her it was thoughts and things I no longer wanted and that she could read it, throw it out, or destroy it; it doesn't matter to me. I feel a little bit better now, but so far, it hasn't provided the healing I was expecting. I am trying to keep the communication options open in the hope that she will one day explain herself.