I genuinely tried..
I'm never really the type of person to whine about stuff like friendship and having companions because being alone was never really a scary thought for me. But they constantly say no man is an island. And everybody occasionally needs someone to be friends with and talk to about life and stuff. So recently, I really tried to open up and be friend some peers in school. But now it has gone back again. The same reason I never wanted friends in the first place. These so called friends now keeps pushing me to pay for everything they buy, like food or snacks and all and even tell me that I am obligated to do it. Seriously? Is this what really friendship is all about? Because frankly I'd rather be alone than have some kid peer pressure me in spending money for them. Although thankfully I am blessed with some, but I don't work anymore. This money is from the hardwork of my parents, and I'm supposed to waste them on my potential so called friends? It's just confuses me at the same time angers me how this happens quite often or not a lot to me. I don't like the idea of being wallets of these people. I am really confused on the real meaning of friendship since I often encounter people like these and I'm really getting tired. It's difficult to know what really is the problem. Or is it just me... 😥😡
@JustLolli Would you say that you have experienced a pattern of befriending people who use you? At its heart, this could be a self worth issue. Not feeling good enough so you gravitate to people who treat you in a way that reinforces your feelings of unworthiness. Not all friendships are like this and what you're experiencing def should not be the norm. I would suggest reading about how to enforce healthy boundaries if you haven't done so already. I used to attract situations similar to this but was able to overcome it! Let me know if you have any questions or just want a listener.
@CompassionateGirl90
IT has always been this way since I can remember. Even had my mom talk to me about how she observed that my so called friends keeps asking me to treat them all the time. I'm not really sure. And because of those, it gets very destructive. And I really really now having a hard time just find the word friend even possible now. I just don't care anymore. And it's definitely destroying my outlook on people. I can easily tolerate them but maybe getting close I would not prefer it anymore. Which is kinda difficult because I'm still human. And the need to just randomly converse is necessary. But the idea of being used again like those. I just can't anymore. Enough is enough. At first recently I thought it was just for mere jokes or like maybe they just didn't have enough cash. But like everyday. It seemed too much. And further realizing the past, it is what I normally experience that's why I easily end up cutting of people in my life..
@JustLolli Can definitely understand why you feel that way. Yes, every day of them asking you for money is too much and they are taking advantage. I don't have many close friends either and it can take me ages to open up to someone - so go at the pace that feels right to you and feel free to break away from people that raise red flags for you. As long as you don't give up entirely on people, you'll get better at noticing the warning signs about them and choosing healthier, more supportive relationships. You are right that no man is an island and we all need someone to converse with. I make small talk more often than I used to and have found that engaging in it - even while the idea used to seem utterly unappealing to me - helps others feel more at ease and more likely to open up to you. You can establish trust with the right kinds of people that way - so something to try if you haven't already done so. Take a little break from people if it's what you need but don't give up altogether. 