How to make a friend

I can relate to what you're saying, never really had real friends, just kids I went to school with and talk to a bit. Every time I noticed my lack of friends, I told myself it would fix itself with time. But now I'm 25 and still don't have any friends. I have people I go to therapy with who I can share problems with, but we don't really share any interests.

Hi Softheart, welcome to the forums. Firstly I understand what your going through completely with having no friends. I thought I was on my own to only having couple of people who are friends but rest are friends just not those I hang around with.

It was the same with school too. It's started from school very on when I didn't think was issue just thought I was shy and not confident.

I still thought would make friends and people would wanna talk to me but realised they didn't and that's when something I thought was wrong with me.

I don't think anything was. I think it was them just judging me not giving me a chance to get to know me and that's people insecurity and being judgmentsl again that environment where they think they can do that and put you in a box.

I know alot of people at school felt same so know wasn't only one but still it was made to feel we don't belong cuz it was even fitting in and being something then not at all. That's what happened but now I'm out of it feel much better. I

hated school too. I don't know if this was same way you felt. Surprised your a teacher but a teacher is a good career so well done. Being in that school environment is hard and your brave person to do that and have the skills too but I don't know if when you were at school if it started from there too or it was being a teacher you starterd to see what we could what school can be like.

I also think with your husband situation it would of started from that feeling as you do. Not feeling good enough, insecure etc. All those feelings you felt and that's why it brings you back to lack of friends. I don't know if that's problem why you feel alone and have no friends but it can happen and maybe your husband done this not knowing but obviously would of seen you would of been insecure and did it anyway without considering your feelings. I think therapy is a good idea to go to. It sounds like you not feeling good in yourself and as nothing is helping you to life your mood and confidence therapy can do that and give you a positive outlook on you what is the truth and others not realising which is there fault not yours.

I think you should consider therapy. I have therapy too and had helped and just the start. It's everything in saying what's helping me to give me that back cuz again it's people what has not helped you or brought you out your shell which feels exactly like me.

I also think that you should look at how to keep yourself feeling good too by doing more self care for you. Taking care of yourself, doing more what you like and looking at your likes and interests you would like to do and think of doing stuff like that. Also looking after your physical and mental well-being. Including confidence too.

You have come to the right place seeking help here and hope we can help you but you want that on outside too so searching for similar like minded people like you. Those you have interests will help to. Looking into other forms of self care like advice on how to be a better you and what to do in showing others without knowing it. Books can help like self help books. I was gonna see look into groups but it maybe something you can achieve later if you feel it's too early to and that's fair enough but I want you to be around others who can connect to who arnt all the same people.

I don't know if you tried talking to your husband about your feelings but communication is important in relationship and if your not getting that therapy is good thing. Yiu need to show him and open up to how what he does makes you feel at times knowing he should be more aware. If you need space take space. Work on spending more time together. Ways to get the relationship back again. It's spark. Looking at what you loved about him what he loved about you and bringing those things back.

You just been getting nothing but negativity and has to stop. It's too much down grading and bad situations and can't always be like it. Something will have to change. It's people. You can change yourself but can't change others and that's true but it's feeling good not caring what is hurting you and moving on and stop it before or not let it happen again.

Your a really brave person what you do and I know in time things will be better if you start seeing the good in yourself from getting your confidence back the help. Those who can do that and see the good in you. Stay away from toxic people and situations what hurt you. Be aware and be careful when you feel something is up. It's about you not anyone else and don't think about what others think cuz good thing is to not care what others think. Easy said but it will help alot. It's practice.

Hope you the help. Love