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Ever dated your bestfriend's ex?

raspberryLemon5565 May 9th, 2021
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So, yeah... I happen to be in that situation. My bestfriend and her ex broke up 2years ago, after a 3years of relationship. Ever since, she got into another relationship, broke up, and in another one right now. Throughout the last year, I have been going through a very bad time. Her ex is my school friend too. Thanks to the lockdowns, we started talking a lot. He's been supporting me, pulling me out of my melancholy, been there for me in my worst lowest times. Eventually, I fell for him. And he fell for me. He proposed me, and I didn't know what to say, given the whole story. Took a lot of time to think about it. Spoke to my friend about us, for which, she said she felt nothing, and she saw that coming. Terms were already not good between me and my friend. I know, this ruined the rest of it too. But, I love him. I said yes. He's been very nice to me. It's a long distance, but we managed to talk to and take care of each other. But, the fact that he's my bestfriends ex, and that I ruined my friendship with her, and I chose him over her is disturbing. I love her... but I love him too I lost her... but i have him... I don't wanna define it as, he is my priority, cause she means a lot too... I still think it was a bad choice to say yes to him. But, he is still the best thing that has happened to me. I turned out to be a confusing bitch I guess! I guess, I started hating myself! I feel like, I might end this relationship, but I don't want to lose him too. At the same time, I'm not able to stay whole heartedly in this relationship. He understands my situation, and is always ready to talk me out of it. He doesn't find any fault with us being in this relationship. But, I broke my friends heart, and that is breaking me... Am I a bad person?

4
unassumingJar1322 May 9th, 2021
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I understand it is hard but may be its not in your control... We dont actually have control on who will flutter our hearts and make us feel special. And try to talk it out to your friend. If she has moved on from him and says that she is okay with your relationship then I think you should believe that. It should just be about you for now. If you feel comfortable then you should definitely stay but if you think you are forcing yourself to stay then I would suggest listen to your heart

sallymae3459 May 9th, 2021
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@raspberryLemon5565 i wouldn't say your a bad person just maybe made not a good choice I generally don't date my friends ex its just a huge No No

MarvelousMack11 May 11th, 2021
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If he makes you happy I say go for it. You can't always help who you fall for. As long as he treats you right and you both respect each other I don't see a huge issue, especially if you and the friend aren't that close anymore. Hope all works out! 💕

raspberryLemon5565 OP May 12th, 2021
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Thank you reaching out everyone... So, I spoke to my friend, about how I'm feeling, and that I regret everything. She's been my friend since 10 years. My best friend... And clearly, she doesn't want to be part of my life anymore, and that's killing me. Even if I love this guy, everything is really good between us, I can never get over the fact that I lost my bestfriend. I cannot be happy with him, with all this on my mind. I broke up with him. And he understood my point of view. And he accepted it without any questions asked. I broke everything, made mess, I can't clear it out. And, I felt this was the right thing to do. Now, I just wanna run away. I just wish all of this never happened.