Betrayal - How to Trust Again
Sharing your vunerablities with people is like giving people your money. You would only give it to the people you trust. Most of time you are able to share but sometimes people can run away after you pour your heart out to them. As a community, we are most likely to have been disappointed in another person. Let's share how you learnt to stand up on your feet and learn to trust other people for those in the 7 cups community who may be having a hard time at the moment
I had this friend, whom i consider as my best friend during my senior high school. It felt like she's the only one who knows what kind of struggle i'm going through, and it felt like we're connected somehow. Although we had our dispute here and there, we were still best friend.
During college, i found out that she's actually hating me. All these times, she's just pretending to be my best friend, so she can benefit something from me. And she will consider herself as my best friend as long as i'm useful to her. And what hurts me the most, is that she actually spread rumors about me being a heavy smoker, alcoholic, and a whore.
I cut off ties with her. When i met her at the street or at campus, i just look away. But i can't help feeling like i want to talk to her again. Parts of me can't forgive her, but parts of me want to be friends with her again.
I've been in the exact same situation except it was a group of friends, they didn't spreadrumoursabout me... I just didn't like the person I was around them, and they were always constantly gossiping about people we were friends with, and I got sick of all the backstabbing and left.
Of course, leaving put me in a position where I became the topic of their gossip...
I don't really know... I just never thought they'd be able to hurt me the way they have, and I try to remind myself constantly that I probably don't really care about how they think of me.
I have no idea where what I'm typing is going...
I guess it's been hard for me, because I haven't been able to move on fully? I haven't been able to make friendseversince, and don't feel comfortable with large groups of people anymore, because I'm unsure of how they'd think of me, what they'd say about me... But I find that it doesn't really worry me too much at the moment... I guess it's just about being able to slowly make new friends..
I'm still able to make new friends after the incident. But i tried not to get too attached to them. Because when they betray, it will hurt less.
Now, i only make friends with those the same interest, and i make myself a cynical and lots of a sneer. So that only the right person can be friends with me.
This certainly rings true for me, but the truth is--I don't know the answer. My best friend of 8 years told me that he was angry with me and then proceeded to completely abandon me. Most painful of all is the not knowing. I used to beg for am explanation and closure, I used to pray from time to time, now I just cry. We have been through so much and he was the one person I was sure would never do this. It had affected my ability to trust for the first time on a long while. I've had so many changes: I lost my job, I moved, I got married, I went back to school, I even had a death in my family. These are all things you want to share with your best friend. I miss him terribly. He finally messaged me after six months of silence, but still hasn't explained why he's mad at me. .. and I don't know that I can forgive him for the mismanagement of my heart.
