I don’t know if I made the right choice.
I have been seeing my older boyfriend since October and we have been in serious relationship since December. I caught him on Reddit commenting sexts on other womens posts in NSFW communities. He even commented on hookup post to be down for meeting up with a girl near where I live. While I did talk to the girl she turned out to be an extortionist. He didn’t sleep with her but he did send her a nude and resique mirror selfie of himself. He did this in mid January. Since then he profusely apologized when we talked it out decided to move past it and work on our relationship. However it’s recently developed he feels like we are moving to fast I was supposed to meet his family last weekend but I got COVID. We discussed valentines gifts and he explained he’s not materialistic and doesn’t like when I try to do things for him because then he feels he needs to commit more energy then he is ready to give at this point in time since most of his energy is going into his career. And I’m smothering him with constant texting to the point he doesn’t even feel happy to talk with me when I leave 10+ Texts over the course of a day. I only get to see him once a week on Sunday and or every other Sunday when something comes up. I feel like every time we make progress in our relationship something happens and we are set back. I don’t know if I made the right choice staying with him despite I really do care for him and want to work things out. It doesn’t help he told me he’s not 100% on being with me just yet. I’m starting to feel unwanted.
you say its a serious relationship but it seems to only be serious to you :( hes proven that he doesnt take this relationship seriously (with focusing on his career first n foremost/feeling like its going to fast/ and worst of all just straight up cheating by sending those texts & planning on meeting someone) i just feel like there has to be someone who actually wants to talk to you ( trust me, 10+ messages a day is barely anything) and see you more than just once a week. you can still care for him but it seems that itd probably be best as just friends. usually honeymoon phases of relationships last 6 months to a year, but it seems like youre already dissapointed with him in just 4 months.
I talked with him today in person. I got to tackle how he’s been making me feel and how I’m tired of feeling like a convenience for him. He actually got chocked up and cried several times during our lengthy conversation. To make a long story short he’s realized he’s putting too much time into growing his career and expending his knowledge in his field to the point it’s not fair to me or those around him he has relationships with. As well his behavior from last month was unacceptable and he has to step up his behavior and put work into our relationship or I’m gonna be gonna before he realizes it. As well the two of us have to work on getting to know each other better and go out and socialize tog
i hope his actions match his words! 🤞🤞🤞
Well he texted me early this morning how he feels beyond heart broken and went on to explain how overwhelmed and stress he is with pouring so much energy into his career and self school on programming that he’s in a constant state of anxiety and stress. And our relationship is not working because he has so much on his plate and it’s his fault and it’s unhealthy. He didn’t realize how confused and lost he was with life til he tried being with me. He honestly believes we should stop seeing each other until he makes healthy changes so he can make room for the things he wants. But he doesn’t want to say goodbye and this not a good bye. He wants to talk more about this with. I’ve so far convinced him to see a therapist to help with making healthier choices and feel good about those choices and not he’s making a mistake. At the moment I don’t know if we officially broken up or on break. I’ve asked him through text and he read the message just hasn’t responded
So update we’re putting our relationship on the back burner while he is working on getting better. We sat down again and had a very lengthy discussion on our relationship and his behavior as well his own actions in his personal life that doesn’t include me. Long story short he’s a very detailed orientated person that puts immense pressure on himself to be perfect since he is serval years behind on his life due to poor choices when he was younger. And basically it’s created this constant battle where he is always second guessing everything he does and beats himself up about it. Even with our relationship he did this and it was the reason why he is unsure about us being together and is focusing so much on his career to the point he ignores anything outside of it even his own personal needs. And being with me and talking to him about I’ve convinced him he needs professional help and a support system.