What should I do?
So long story short. I am 25m who has never had a substantial relationship before. Due to health complications there is a good chance that I may not be able to have children, especially the longer I wait. Though I am a guy, due to mentioned above I do go through some episodes of 'baby fever'. Part of my issue is thanks to rape culture I am too afraid to try anything in case it's a trap but on the other hand I know I am on a bit of a clock. It also doesn't help that I am extremely reclusive and have never really fit in anywhere. Not to mention I doubt anyone would want to put up with my depression and anxiety issues. I'm not asking for 'hang in there' or 'you'll find someone eventually' posts, I'm curious if anyone has any actual advice. If not anything else I am just tired of being alone.
Bumping in hope of a response.
@adaptablehouse7827
Hey there, Thank you for posting your situation here. I'm noticing that you want a person to get closer to you, but at the same time you fear closeness and intimacy thinking it's a trap so thats a limited self belief system you have that actually sabotage your sucess to have a possible future relationship with someone. I could tell these kind of thoughts and feelings may have come from your past, which its affecting your adult life and possible relationships.
@freshLight64 correct. And a fear of what one may see if I let them get too close, i have many contrasting natures and am a little fearful of what one may be dominate
@adaptablehouse7827 Hi there! I understand that you feel pressure to have children but ask yourself- are you ready to be a father? Consider for a moment the responsibility of parenthood and the different pressure you'll feel when you have kids. While providing for your family financially is a large part, there's also the emotional and moral support your kids will need from you. Finding someone to be close to, someone you can share your life with- that takes time, effort, and a bit of luck. The part you can control is the effort: Invest in yourself by understanding your needs, your wants, the things that make you happy. What are your interests? What are you passionate about? Find other people who share the things that make you happy and, with time and luck, you can build a substantial relationship from the foundation of that common interest. Maybe you've had experiences where you tried to make a connection and things didn't work out the way you had initially hoped. But it only takes one good connection to erase a lifetime of bad experiences.
I've moved your thread to the Relationship Questions section.
