Tell me about your relationships.
I want to hear the happy, the sad, the good, the bad. No one is perfect. Everything takes work, and more often than not, things don't work out. It's sad and it sucks, but we keep trying to pull through to find someone who will work with us. I want to hear your experiences because I think it's important.
My relationship was bad. It took me years to accept it and to finally move on or at least trying to do so. I know it is the best thing for me but it is so difficult. I am in so much pain. I need to constantly remember what he did to me so I can stay strong and not go back to him. Saturday and last night he sent me msgs. I see them as manipulations to get to me. He was emotionally abusive and controlling. He put me down once in a while but mostly he wanted to change me to someone I am not and I couldn't do it anymore. He wanted me to accept that he talked to other women as something normal. Women he met online or on FB or from his past, women he had slept with. NO, it is not acceptable! Why does he think he can disrespect me that way?
After I went away for a month in dec to visit my family, he open again his okc acct and was chatting women up. He said he was bored and thats why he did it, never apologyzing for his wrongdoings. Instaed getting angry at me, calling me jealous for no reason, insecure, needy and emotional. No i am not, you are making me feel insecure by doing these things. And this is minimal to the rest.
@blueoceanwater
I wish I could understand your pain better.
If he was trying to change you into someone you're not, then very simply put he's not the right person for you. You're right.
However, talking to people, no matter their gender, is normal. It's healthy. Taking a few steps back from your relationship and yourself can give you a better perspective on things.
HOWEVER, infidelity in a relationship is not particularly healthy and I believe you are right in not continuing communicating with him.
update on the whole bf thing we broke up not sure if i want another bf at this point he had an anxiety disorder and there were some red flags i think in the relationship and i met him in college and i graduate in 2018 so i probably won't be getting another bf at my college but i may change my mind if i find someome good enoigh 
@catsthemusical
Take as much time as you need to recover and feel comfortable with not only the idea of dating again, but also yourself. The end of every relationship is almost like the end of an identity; You're no longer associated with that person and perhaps some of the things you picked up, you picked up because of them.
Take this as a learning experience to recognize more red flags earlier on in a relationship. If you feel confident that they can be dealt with in a healthy manner, then perhaps the risk is worth it, but know that the risk of being hurt will always be present whenever you choose to make yourself vulnerable.
I do not recommend rushing into another relationship unless you feel comfortable with it. Being with someone for the sake of it never ends well.
You will meet someone when you feel the time is right, and there's no rush. You will meet more people outside of college provided you give yourself those opportunities.
My relationship isn't technically a relationship... if you know what I mean. Anyways, he's been going out with me then breaking up with me all the time and I really can't give him another chance even though I love him so much! Today he told me he loved me and he hates himself since I won't go out with him but he doesn't want to hurt me again. I really don't know what position I'm in with him all I know is I need advice on how to move it forward and make it work.
@courteousFriend1161
Hmmm...off-again-on-again relationships are always tricky. Sometimes it works out for people, but I feel like the healthier options are always to stop the cycle whenever you can.
Love is something that is extremely fickle. He also seems like he has a platitude of issues that need to be worked out, and perhaps it is best that both of you work out these issues individually rather than together.
I really don't know how I'm supposed to feel in my relationship. I doubt myself. I wonder if I ask for too much, or put up with too much. Maybe I'm just letting him use me, maybe I'm unrealistic. Perhaps I'm so stressed out I just can't see things clearly.
I let him move in for the wrong reasons 3 years ago; to help him out financially, convenience, and I didn't trust him fully so I could keep an eye on him. I know bad idea. We have a great time outside normal life at home. We bike, climb mountains, see music etc. We make great dates but I don't think we are good partners. I live on a farm. It's dirty hard work. He does not help unless I'm desperately asking (and I get that) and it only a short time then he's back on the computer. He can't or won't cook. He does a few of the man typical chores but I'm doing the Lion's share of home maintenance. Sometimes he'll do a little more and be nice to me when he knows I'm ready to give the boot. Then I'm confused how to feel. Last year I had sick parents and 2 surgeries and he got angry when I got a volunteer to help me, because i spent more time with them. Money and everything is hyperfocal on 50/50. It's exhausting. I feel that his leisure and entertainment take priority over our lives. He's a roommate and I'm a landlord. He doesn't understand why I refuse to marry him. Why would I marry someone who acts like a roomie? Outside of living together I love his companionship in the outdoors, but don't know about the rest.
My first wife I met thought a mutual friend. We were married for 13 years before she left me for someone else. She hadn't been faithful through out the marrage. My second marrage is to a wonderful woman who I am pushing away because of anxiety of the thought she might cheat and walk out like the first. But she hasn't left yet. I am hoping to fix the anxiety and jealousy before I lose her.
My Relationship is at risk and I think its my fault Im such a terrible person and Im hurt and holding on to so much and Im not getting any better , and I feel I may loose the one person Ive ever truly loved. 
@kitpry
@kitpry
My husband and I are struggling right now. We've been married 5 years, together 8. We are a blended family, he with a 14 year old daughter who lives with us half-time and me with a 10 year old boy who lives with us full time. The kids have their issues, but differing aspects of our parenting styles is a major conflict area.
A broader concern has to do with our personalities and languages of love. My husband is extremely extroverted and wants to involve me in just about everything he does. I'm a mix of extrovert and introvert, and prefer to have some areas of my life separate. It's not that I want to hide things from him, but more that I'd rather be fully there for him on things we have mutual interest.
In all my previous relationships (I'm 43 tomorrow so there's been a few!) I feel that I've sacrified a lot of my own interests/values for the relationship, which ended up feeling empty to me because I didn't feel loved for who I really was. After a messy break-up with the father of my son 10 years ago, I emerged stronger and decided that I would be myself in my next relationships.
My husband says that my lack of involvement in some of his life makes him feel unloved. He feels that I should compromise more if I love him. Hearing that makes me feel that he doesn't really love me as I am, and that he would rather I become someone else.
All this to say that I think we each have slightly different ideas of what love in a marriage should be, and I don't know how to reconcile it. He says he's constantly sacrificing things for me (and I am for him), so he seems to be asking me to change to improve things. I want our relationship to be better, but I'm not sure if I can or want to do this.