How do you get out of the 'victim loop'?
I read a really interesting post on instagram today (@dr.marielbuque) about signs that you are revictiminzing yourself and a lot of those signs are things I see myself doing (stuck in a harmful thought loop about the past, not acknowledging my emotional pain, invalidating myself the way they did, and not keeping wellness boundaires). I've noticed these signs and I'm trying to think of ways to stop this cycle. I continually go into this cycle because I feel like there are lessons to be learned and something I am missing that I've done really wrong and the shaming of myself and trying to find what I did wrong to make sense of things makes me feel like I'm more in control than I probably am and I end up reminding myself that I don't deserve good, new things for myself in the future. It's frustrating and hard, especially when it comes to relationships with people, which I struggle with handling my emotions surrounding relationships the most.
Where do you think is a good place to start in getting out of this unhealthy loop?
@greenteahelps
I can understand where you are coming from about the victimization because I was in that stage for a very long time and that has impacted me where as long as I look as situations where I become the victim, I will continue to be that victim and allow others to come in my life to victimize me. And this is the advice that you should talk with you as much as possible. I would say a good place to start is by look into the mirror and ask yourself: who I am in this situation? In better words, what is my role in this situation? This will help you to step out of your self-consciousness and realize that you cannot control everything because that will give you anxiety, pain, hopelessness, and powerlessness. And once you come into some immediate thoughts, write down on a piece of paper five to ten adjectives the answers to that questions and things that you like about yourself. Daily, say that over and over again until you believe in your heart that you are those positive things and that no one cannot stop your thunder!
And start by reminding yourself that wherever you are, that you are in a safe place and that nothing will not damage or destroy your inner peace (as long as you do not let others have that power over you). That way, you can bring some self-love and self-compassion to yourself. Love yourself more and that will open the doors to love others
@originalBeauty9103
I appreciate your response! I definitely can benefit by asking myself who I am in the situation. For me, in my certain situations pertaining to college, I can really reclaim the fact that these situations have occured because I have stood up for myself and defended myself with honesty. If I hadn't stood up or defended myself, I wouldn't have been in these situations, but I still feel that it was important and can find value in myself for doing so. If I didn't stand up for myself, I would have allowed myself to be manipulated and pushed into becoming and allowing whatever to happen and that's not who I am. I've been trying to remember this and find my strength in this way. I'm realizing that my honesty and ability to stand up for what I feel is right is something some people don't take well or lightly and I'm seeing it's because they can't do that themselves.
@greenteahelps
You are an amazing person and I am so proud of you for making that decision that is best for you! Continue on being self-aware and being on this self-discovery journey and keep up with the good work!! I wish you all the best and if you have any questions, feel free to personally request me through this website and I will try my very best to help!! 