How do I start again and make new friends
Hi All, I'm alone for the first time in years. I'm no spring chicken but definatley not over the hill just yet. I've discovered that a lot of friends of ours, were his. I've friends but they live far away mostly and others closer have small kids, partners and can't be helping me get back on track. I live in the middle of the countryside so bumping into people is not an option.
There are little or no classes in the area and what is there is not for me. How do I meet likeminded people, who want to grab life and live it now.
Also, i'm socially akward, so going into an existing group is likely not an option just now. (still rebuilding my self confidence)
thank you
@kitty54
I am in a similar situation as you. I am a country girl so bumping into someone is a little difficult. I tend to make friends who really are not healthy for me. They start out Ok but then they begin showing their true colors and start to treat me horrible. So I am working on this currently. I don't really have any helpful advice other than letting you know you are not alone.
@sunnyZebra2336, thank you for the reply. Knowing i'm not alone is a great help (although I wish neither of us were in this boat), so that is helpful. Hopefully some replies will come that will help both of us, in fact all of us as i'm sure were a drop in the ocean of those who are reaching out for good friends.
@kitty54 I'm in the same spot. After 19 uyears of marriage, most of my friends (eve3n the ones I knew a decade before we met) are now "our" friends - and I hate feeling like I'm putting any of them in the middle.
@derangedlunatech
@derangedlunatech, It's awful isn't it. I'm thinking there has to be so many people out there on their own needed to make new circles of friends..... there has to be a way of getting them together, I've searched support groups and there not here where I am..... Maybe joining fb would show extended groups. hopefully someone truley enlightening will reply to this thread and give us all guidance
@kitty54
@kitty54 You're not alone! I'll be your friend, forever and always! Welcome to Friend City, i'll be your tour guide, Mikasa15! Come to me when you're in a pickle! Here are some tips from google on how to make friends: https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=how+to+make+friends
@Mikasa15, oh, thank you... no idea what friend city is but thank you, it's a great feel good reply :)
@kitty54 I made "Friend City" myself Eren is from a show called Attack on Titan or in short aot! Glad I could help!
Hello all. I just wanted to say, I am in the exact same boat as you all, and it seriously helps me feel less alone to read this thread. I've been thinking of ways to make friends since I started my divorce, about a month ago. I completely isolated myself from the friends I had, and I am so socially awkward! I don't want to "go out," or join some singles group. I also live in the country so don't just "run into" people... it all just resonates.
So, I had an idea. One of the women who I work with is going through a breakup as well. I was thinking to buy her flowers, just to remind her that she is special and deserves to feel happy. Maybe this will spark a friendship, or maybe it will just make me feel better for a day. Either way, its adding a little brightness to the world.
So, I guess that's my idea, just keep my ears open around me for anyone that can use a little brighting up, and doing what I can to offer that light. I mean, it's kinda selfish because I am looking to help myself, but I'm doing that by finding those who need to reminding of the good, and trying to manifest good.
I don't know, is this a crazy idea? Do any of you think it will work?
@Noyzecat, I think that is a great idea. wow so thoughtful. Whatever end result you may be hoping for, for someone like us to know we are not alone especially if it were done face to face whereby you could get an acutal hug on the bad days, this is a win win idea.
it is so mad that women do tend to throw themselves all into relationships. I definatley did NOT think I was one of them, but over years, it is crazy how conditioned and numb to all the wrong things we become. I'm having an awful day today, really want to see him again, but i've spent so long ignoring his calls "to be friends" and he has eventually stopped (well it's been about 4 days). i've decided to treat this like quitting smoking, it is bad for me, smelly and dirty lol.... one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I would really love a date, not a relationship but a date where I get to feel special again and recognise my worth. just to kick start my confidence, but again, i'm a bit closed off, not into online dating and just don't know where to start. We need some FUN in our lives ladies (and gents if any of ye are in the same spot),
@kitty54
I wish I knew where to even go and have fun. In my rural setting there is like one bar and I am not much of a bar girl/lady. I ask people "where does the mature person go to meet others (not necessarily relationship)? I always get the same answer "I don't know." Like everyone else here I believe there are a lot of people in the same boat." I have tried dating sites like 4 or 5 years ago and gave up after 6 months or so. It was not anything like they advertise on TV. So I think dating sites are not "my cup of tea." I feel comfort in knowing that I/we are not alone. This forum has been a huge part of my life since I joined a few months ago. I disappear for several days at a time to "lick my wounds" so to speak and visit other forums mostly so I don't feel alone. Like all here I hope we can come up with something that will help us!!
@kitty54
I wish I knew where to even go and have fun. In my rural setting there is like one bar and I am not much of a bar girl/lady. I ask people "where does the mature person go to meet others (not necessarily relationship)? I always get the same answer "I don't know." Like everyone else here I believe there are a lot of people in the same boat." I have tried dating sites like 4 or 5 years ago and gave up after 6 months or so. It was not anything like they advertise on TV. So I think dating sites are not "my cup of tea." I feel comfort in knowing that I/we are not alone. This forum has been a huge part of my life since I joined a few months ago. I disappear for several days at a time to "lick my wounds" so to speak and visit other forums mostly so I don't feel alone. Like all here I hope we can come up with something that will help us!!
@Noyzecat heya, just a quick question. did you ever buy the flowers for that lady? how'd it go? it was a really great idea, i'm now stalking others incase I can rob your idea lol
Heyy!
Hey, Ok update. I've discovered something magical that I knew when I was young but I lost when I lived a lie for years. Smiling. Not just smiling but faking it till you make it smiling. I know it sounds odd but try it. I decided that I so wanted to be happy and I just started smiling whether I wanted to or not. I smile when I'm alone, I smile when I'm driving and then I find I'm smiling without thinking. Also, as I progress with the faking it till I make it, I find people are approaching me more, saying hello, chatting in line at the market. This whole thing is making me appear more open (possibly like a crazy lady lol) And when people chat to me and I chat to them, my confidence is building, I'm being more open and slowly, I'm not faking it too much..... Now I could just be having a good week emotionally, but I feel this is a step forward for me in entering back into society and meeting decent people. (also, i got onto meetup.com and found a group for people in my situation, so i'm in there also) How is everyone going, we are a little mini support network now for each other... hey coolguy, anything to add? :)
@kitty54
Love your smile game!!! Great idea😀😁
Going to step up on my smile game starting today 😁😀☺️🙂😃😁😀
@laurenfay totally, once you see a few people smile back, it's totally worth it. Ignore any horrified expressions, depending on where you are, people might think your going to mug them lol.... it is a real feel good free thing you can do anytime anywhere and improve not only your life but someones elses day... a smile is infectious...
hows your mood going at the minute? Keep pulling from any place you can get comfort and I'm delighted here is good for you, it is definatley helping me hugely and your thoughts and advice are really solid and kind and honest, a rare trio :)