Guide to Being a Good Boyfriend
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Being a good boyfriend is within every guy's grasp ?? it just requires a focus on making a consistent effort and behaving considerately. It also relies on having respect, both for your girlfriend and for yourself, in order to make the relationship one of equals. A successful relationship isn't something that just happens??you have to work at it??but the results are worth the effort. Here's how to be the best boyfriend in the world.
Show Trust and Honesty
Be honest. In any relationship, honesty is almost always the best policy. It may be difficult at times, but basing your interactions on truth will allow your relationship to breathe and feel secure. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which will often mean that the other person returns the same respect by being truthful in turn. Studies have found that when couples were more honest from the start, they are more likely to work on their relationship and grow together
Temper your honesty with kindness. Don't feel as if you have to make every response seem like a compliment. Instead, offer an alternative. For example, if she asks you if you like something she is trying on, let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off her great eyes/smile/hair.
Don't sugarcoat the truth. It's the same with other problems: telling her what you like is fine, but you have to tell her what you don't like as well. Sugarcoating is fine, but deflecting isn't.
Be prepared for her to be honest with you. Expect this kind of brutal honesty back from your girlfriend. If you both realize that expressing such opinions just comes out of caring and honesty, you'll have a better relationship.
Foster trust and openness. This will allow you to create a more open relationship toward each other, as well as creating a very good understanding in what your mate wants, feels, and needs.
Trust her and give her reason to trust you. Trust should form the foundation of your relationship; after all, love is a combination of trust and commitment.
Avoid breathing down each other's necks??allow space to do things separately as well as apart, trusting in each other to honor the relationship. Openness, in combination with honesty, should blend in perfect harmony and help your relationship to endure.
Show Support
Be supportive. You can show support by being available, listening attentively and showing your interest in the things she has to tell you.
When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to her needs. By being supportive, you'll help to strengthen the sense of security and reciprocity in the relationship.
Don't brush her off. It's exasperating when someone seems to treat you in a condescending way, acting as if your interests are inferior to their own. Don't give your girlfriend cause to feel frustrated this way??remember that she is your girlfriend, and that you're with her because you like her and she likes being with you.
Don't make her worry. If she feels that you're giving her the cold treatment, she'll be worried??it's far better to be open about your concerns than to go silent and express nothing. She can't read your mind, you need to explain your feelings and concerns as they arise.
Be understanding if your girlfriend tries to gain your attention by being loud, talkative or even slightly whiny. If you haven't been paying her attention, she may be using these tactics to try and shake you out of your inner world so that you connect better with her again. A little attentiveness can go a long way to assuaging her frustration and restoring equilibrium to your relationship.
Remember that relationships aren't a game??if she gets the impression that she has to badger you until you surrender and finally pay her attention, it'll become the norm, established by your disinterest. Don't let that happen.
If you're in a particularly foul mood and you're concerned that you might overreact if asked to explain yourself, keep things really simple and buy yourself time rather than brushing her off. Say something simple like: "I'm feeling really angry right now. I don't want to fight like that. Let's talk later." And actually follow through later and talk as promised.
Compliment your girlfriend sincerely. Every person appreciates a compliment, but you must mean it. Make sure your compliment focuses on something you genuinely like or admire about her.
Go beyond the ordinary statements. For example, don't just say, "You look nice." Instead, say "That really makes your eyes shine," "Your haircut really suits the shape of your face," or "That makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss her neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
Show sympathy and empathy. If it means something to her, it means something to you. It doesn't matter that you wouldn't be interested in the issue if it weren't for her??a relationship is about sharing experiences and being supportive. Some examples of times when you need to be sympathetic and empathetic include:
If she suffers the death of a pet, remember that to her it is a big deal. Her close attachment to her pet is natural; indeed, you may have experienced this attachment yourself. Losing a pet is like losing a family member for many people and it is important to acknowledge the hurt and pain that such a loss causes. Avoid telling her to stop crying or to get another pet. Instead, take the time to simply be there for her, to listen and hold her as you comfort her. Give her hugs and let her know that you're there for her. Try to use the pet's name rather than referring to it as simply "your cat" or "your dog". After a few days, she'll probably feel stronger but continue to be sympathetic.
If she cries for a reason you can't be sure of, first determine if the tears are happy, sad, or frustrated. If happy, then be happy with her. If sad, find out what made her sad, and comfort her.
Donot tell her to stop crying??doing so makes her feel like she's being a burden to you or like you don't care. Crying is actually a very healthy way to release emotions and get over whatever is bothering her. By asking her to stem that release you are also preventing her from resolving the issue faster.
When she's at her most vulnerable, don't try and fix the problem for her. While this is often an automatic male reflex, she doesn't want her problem "fixed". She wants to clear her emotions and simply have you accept that. Of course, much later, once she seems calmer and more at ease with the matter, by all means offer your help and ideas for resolving the matter.
Show affection often and without fear. Demonstrate to your girlfriend that you love her by being affectionate. Small touches, hugs, a kiss and maybe a little public display of affection (PDA) are just some of the ways of connecting through affection.
Don't overdo it??you don't want to make her uncomfortable. Remember to read her signs, and if she's not in the mood, don't kiss her!
Make physical contact. Girls are usually more sensitive than guys, so even a light touch is appreciated. If your girl is a romantic, upon seeing her for the first time in a couple of days, say, "I missed you..." and weave your arms around her hips then give her a loving hug.
A hug in public can last anywhere from five seconds, to a minute or two but again, read her signals to see if time's up.
If you have been together with your girlfriend for longer, and have kissed before, feel free to also give a light kiss on her lips/cheek/forehead/neck just to show that you really appreciate her presence. Or just kiss her hand by clasping and bringing it up to your lips.
If you're not sure how your girlfriend feels about public displays of affection, be discreet.
Be Spontaneous
Mix things up. Try not to fall into a rut of always doing the same things. While you probably have one or two regular things you enjoy doing together, avoid making the regular the only things you do. Instead, try visiting new places, giving new activities a go and going to different parts of town. Even if the new activities don't turn out the way you'd hoped, at least you've shared the experience and are getting to know one another even better.