Empowering Vs. Enabling in a Relationship

"The distinction is this: To empower someone is to teach or guide another in developing skills to handle life on their own, whereas enabling would be simply taking over responsibilities that belong to someone else.

The act of empowering in a relationship means being a catalyst that helps your partner become their best self.

Conversely, enabling behavior ignores a loved one’s agency and jumps into fix-it mode. One partner attempts to protect the other from facing challenges, consequences, or difficult emotions head-on. Though the immediate problem may be solved, enabling creates a bigger issue and can diminish self-esteem.

How to Transition from Being an Enabler to an Empowerer

1. Get radically honest with yourself. We first need to recognize that there is a problem.

2. Bring awareness to all the negative consequences that enabling others has brought to the relationship or to your life.

3. Separate what is your responsibility versus what is your partner’s.

4. Set reasonable boundaries around what is helpful and what you are willing to do and not do.

5. Work through any fears or guilt that may come up from this lack of control.

6. Step back into your role as a partner. Identify reasonable things a supportive partner can do in your situation. These may be words of encouragement, reminding them of their strengths, and pointing them in the right direction but not doing it for them."

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✨Takeaway: Empowering involves teaching and guiding someone to handle life on their own, while enabling involves taking over responsibilities that belong to someone else. Empowering behavior helps a partner develop the skills to cope with and overcome their fears.

✨Reflection: Have you ever helped someone so much that they became overly reliant on you?

#Relationships #Enabling #Empowering #Boundaries

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