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Can't find hope

ak4482 September 4th, 2014

Hi, I'm posting because I feel worthless and have found no one today to turn to. I'm a 32 year old male. I should say male in gender only. I'm a pathetic virgin who's never even come close to any romantic or intimate touching, and never will. I am very shy and afraid to go out because I know I will make a fool of myself, and with technology today, it's a life sentence. I even suck at my job now, making repeated mistakes when 1 mistake is a million too many. In short, I am just going through the motions of life, not quite able to make the move to end my life, but not wanting to live. I just need someone to care for and about me as I cry myself off to sleep, again :(

6
RoseKay September 4th, 2014

Hey!, im pretty sure you are not pathetic!, for real!:) you shouldnt feel tht you suck at your job and something! Smile❤ and dont worry you are not the only one:o! im shy too even im afraid to people for my past, but yeah:/ well here you can meet people tht will care of you and maybe your way to think or idk the way you see life will change:) and it will get better!

5 replies
ak4482 OP September 4th, 2014

I feel I have no one to turn to. I sure as hell can't talk to my friends or family because I will come across as creepy or the complete pathetic loser I am. I have tried everything to find love, no one wants to be with scum like me, they can see the scarlet V on me. I wish I was never born, I think I'm here to be the clown everyone kicks around.

4 replies
RoseKay September 4th, 2014

Stop thinking like that please:(! you are Alive for one reason!❤ okey? look Love? well how can you exoect someone to love you when you dont even love yourself? thats what a Listener told me once and guess what? is so freaking true! i was well im a depressing girl, i hd suicide thoughs too but i know one thing, you are special:) bsides you are not a clown:(, be patient, i know its hard!(: but pleasee be patient and smile! cause "everything uts gonna be alright" and you are not the only one who cry at night" i do tht every sngle night! but yeah! if you change your mind, you change your world❤

RoseKay September 4th, 2014

Stop thinking like that please:(! you are Alive for one reason!❤ okey? look Love? well how can you exoect someone to love you when you dont even love yourself? thats what a Listener told me once and guess what? is so freaking true! i was well im a depressing girl, i hd suicide thoughs too but i know one thing, you are special:) bsides you are not a clown:(, be patient, i know its hard!(: but pleasee be patient and smile! cause "everything uts gonna be alright" and you are not the only one who cry at night" i do tht every sngle night! but yeah! if you change your mind, you change your world❤

2 replies
ak4482 OP September 6th, 2014

I'd like to know what that reason is (that's positive for me). The loneliness and pain of celibacy and never having had love triggers with almost every single thing I see. I just want someone to be there for me now otherwise I see no reason to live.

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