☆ An Adolescent Learning- "How Relationships ~actually~ Function" ☆

my boyfriend and I had our first anniversary a few days ago.

and hey, 365 days of chaos, happiness, and every other emotion out there sure was a rollercoaster ride worth celebrating (us teens, we just look for excuses to celebrate stuff xD) I've been in a few other relationships, but this one had something the others didn't. In our 16 year old mindsets, a year is a pretty long time, and what's even more remarkable is that we're looking forward to the next anniversary (gosh, I know I am, if he isn't that'd be suuper awkward) anywhoo, over the year, I learnt a lot about how relationships actually work. When I got into the relationship at first, I was kind of still stuck in my hopelessly romantic, starry daze of sappiness and unrealistic perfection around the very concept of relationships- that's right, guys, I was a bit of what you'd call a hopeless case when it comes to romantic daydreams (still am) my first relationship was a bit of an eye opener for me in that sense xD without further ado, here are the things I've learnt about how relationships *actually* function-

♦ If you don't ever disagree, something is wrong. Like, gosh, in the year we've gotten into dumb fights about things I don't even remember. and it doesn't help that we're complete opposites. What I've learnt is that in the (somewhat less dreamlike) real world, no two people will ever get along perfectly. Hey, it's just human nature.

♦ Alone time is both the enemy and the angel - Y'know, especially in the earlier stages, I think not only I but also he constantly needed a reminder of this. We just kept seeing each other and texting each other and in general being super duper involved with each other, consistently in most aspects of each others lives. It got a little exhausting after a while, and after having a little alone time we both realized there is a limit to everything, and while together-time was fun, balance in our relationship was just invaluable.

♦ Disapproval from other people shouldn't weaken your relationship- It's no secret that our relationship was less-than-popular: with my friends, my parents, his parents.. the list goes on xD and honestly, at first I had my reservations about entering a relationship which so many people resented. But then I realized he had exactly the same dilemma going on in his brain, and I think having that conversation opened up the both of our eyes and made our relationship a lot stronger.Having people who oppose your relationship is normal (in a world of 7 billion, I'd say it's expected at some point) but evaluating why these people are not as sure about your relationship as you are and talking about this is what really counts.

♦ Tough times don't last, tough relationships do- our relationship has, in one year, been through a lot of ups and downs, more than the average relationship. I'll be blunt- during the year I've been with him, I self harmed, came out as Bisexual, and totally went full out crazy on him (that's right, even the ugly crying, I ugly cried on him xD). These tougher times in the\e relationship that we lasted through led me to taking the quote "tough men don't last, tough times do" and, well, altering it xD If the people within the relationship are willing and determined to make the relationship work, it will.

♦ Sometimes it's okay to get mushy- yep. Sometimes it;s okay to sit down and get suuuuuper mushy with the person you're in a relationship with. In fact, I'd say it's healthy to do so (but that's just my opinion) Just mean what you say during the mush-sessions, and you're on the right track!

so, those are the main things I've learnt from a year with someone. To anyone who managed to reach the end of this post (because I know, it is long and kind of boring xD) thank you for reading! there are probably tons more lessons out there for me to lean that I just haven't yet, or ones that I've unknowingly learnt and haven't realized it yet cause I'm just a little clueless like that.

Cheers, Eno x